That's Not A Pint (26-30/4/09)

SUNDAY 26TH APRIL

Pretty much nothing to say about today. We’ve been on the road for nine days and so we need to do some housekeeping of sorts. By that I mean I’ll sit in the van and fuck about on the computer, while Louise does the washing and makes dinner. Before anybody gets on their high horse about it being sexist that Louise is doing the washing and cooking, let it be known that I’ve let her drive all the time we’ve been away as well.

MONDAY 27TH APRIL

With Laura out and about in Nelson, Louise and I headed for Richmond about 20 mins up the road. When we were there we didn’t find all that much of interest in the town and the hills were covered in mist and fog so that was a no go as well. With all that taken into account, it was off for a bit of shopping and then off to the pub for an hour or so.
When I got in the pub I asked for a pint as you do and the barmaid got me one with a handle on it, a bit like what the old blokes drink out of. When I asked for a different glass i.e. one without a handle, I was read a riot act about how these were the biggest glasses they had, and if I wanted one without a handle then I’d have to have a smaller measure. Jesus, all I want is a drink, not a fucking lecture.
After my dressing down we left Richmond and headed back to the campsite for another night, before heading along the coast tomorrow.


TUESDAY 28TH APRIL

We left Richmond and headed up to the far north-west of the South Island to visit amongst another places: Fairwell Spit and Abel Tasman National Park. It took almost five hours to get to the Spit having spent an age getting up and over Takaka Hill (2600ft/791m) and stopping off at Collingwood (which has a world famous chocolate shop that was unforgivably closed)and Puponga (which had nothing of note).
The spit itself is shaped like a kiwi’s beak and that’s why I wanted to go there. It’s also the most northerly part of the South Island (it’s almost on the same latitude as Palmerston North in the North Island). Because the weather’s a bit crappy you can’t see back over the bay to the town of Puponga which I’m told you can do in the summertime. Louise and I did however walk about a mile along the beach and took in the wildlife and the cold.
After our beach walk we headed to Takaka and spent the night in the car park where we kept ourselves to ourselves because it was hammering it down. Also we are now fearing for our lives over the swine flu outbreak. On the radio for the last two days there has been nothing but talk about how New Zealand has had its first suspected case of swine flu and what’s going to be done about it. It’s obvious to me its bird flu all over again. And so we’re not going to die of a pig based influenza virus, and I think everyone else in the country feels the same way. I’ve noticed that most people have said that it’s all a load of scare-mongering and I couldn’t agree more.


WEDNESDAY 29TH APRIL

After one of the coldest nights so far, Louise and I head to the local Department of Conservation (DOC) office to ask what to do around the Abel Tasman National Park. We are greeted inside the building by Bruce the Performance Artist from Family Guy, who tells us to head to The Grove for what should be a pleasant walk.
We follow Bruce’s directions and end up going the wrong way for twenty minutes (all the thought of men must have confused him). Once we’d sorted out the directional difficulties we made our way to The Grove. The area around The Grove looked as if it had been used in the LOTR somewhere along the line. It only took around forty-five minutes to walk around so we headed up to XXXX waterfall. This was not before we saw a wooden giraffe on the side of the road!
Wainui waterfall was a twenty minute walk along a track and then across a rope bridge that Louise didn’t enjoy, especially when I was jumping up and down on it. The waterfall wasn’t the biggest I’ve seen, but it’s far away enough from anywhere to not be overrun by people; but you can say that about everywhere apart from the big cities here in New Zealand.
On the way to the DOC site we stopped at Wainui Bay, where there is telegraph poles sat in the sea at high tide. It does look a bit odd. At the DOC site there was no-one around so we parked up for the night hoping not to get caught by the ranger.

THURSDAY 30TH APRIL

We ended up getting caught by the Park Ranger, so had to pay NZ$12 each for cold water and no electricity; which was a bit of a joke considering you can get all the mod cons for the same price.
As planned we set off on our walk along the coast of the Abel Tasman National Park, starting at Totarnui Beach which is right next to where we stayed, where you could either walk along the beach or through the forest track (which we did). We then walked through Goats Bay along the beach and then it was again through more forest half way up a cliff where you could see back to Totaranui and forward to Waiharakeke Beach where we were heading next. Along the path there was a fair part that had finally given way after all the use and fell back down to rocks below. After walking along the deserted Waiharakeke beach (apart from two sea-birds and half a dozen tracks in the sand, there was nothing on it), which could without doubt be used in pictures of paradise, we walked through the last section of forest and arrived at Awaroa estuary. The beach can be crossed at low tide, but we didn’t make it then so had to settle for the view, which was by no means a bad thing.
After returning to the van having completed the 7 mile (11km) trek, I had my second cold shower of the day, had a quick feed and packed up and headed back to Takaka. Once back in town it was off to the pub for a few swift ones before retiring to bed.