The Journey Begins (17-25/05/09)

NEW ZEALAND STARTS

FRIDAY 17TH APRIL

On landing in Christchurch we zoomed straight through customs no problem, and then it was straight on the phone to the campervan company who came to fetch us without delay.After spending over an hour ironing out the minute details in the contract, we were away. This is it six months living on the road (sometimes literally) in a campervan; that at some point will somehow be sleeping four grown adults. I don’t care, and neither does Louise. It’s gonna be fun as this is what I’ve been looking forward to the most on the entire trip. In the van we have four of each piece of crockery and cutlery: 4 knives, 4 forks, 4 dessert spoons, 4 tea spoons, 4 bowls, 4 cups, 4 beakers and 4 wine glasses. There’s a fridge that you can run off the mains and battery (but not for too long), a microwave (mains only), a grill, two hobs, an electric kettle, a gas kettle (an essential that I will guard with my life because NZ is cold so we’ll need tea and lots of it). There’s a lot of empty space underneath stuff that will soon be filled, no doubt, with tins of food and clothes and stuff. We’ve been given a shed load of blankets and quilts to combat the cold; even the woman at the hire centre said we’re brave doing this in winter. We’ve also got an esky bin that will be used for chilling drinks as the fridge is for food only. Louise and I have also agreed on a ‘no shoes’ policy in the van because it’s so wet, and we’ve also agreed to take the bed down every morning, but we’ll see how long that lasts. The next two hours were spent in the super discount supermarket, buying everything we thought we were going to need for six months on the road (branston pickle, HP sauce). We soon realised that you can’t fit that much in the spaces dotted around the van, so it looks like we’re going to have to buy a lot of food day to day because the fridge only really fits four yoghurts and a block of cheese; and the freezer is none existent. Once we’d finished shopping, we headed off to spend our first night in the van. Being the first night, and not knowing how this campervan lark works, we headed to the nearest campsite to charge the vans’ battery (which we’re going to have to do at least every three days) and fill up with water. These motor-home campsites are pretty good. Most of them have a good kitchen (which saves cooking on the vans stove and using gas), a lounge to relax, decent washrooms and this one had a mini play park for the kids. It was like a mini Butlins without the red-coats. Louise and I settled down after our first meal on the road and thought about what to do and where to go. The answer to that is: as much as possible and every square mile we can.

SATURDAY 18TH APRIL

I woke up bright and early, not because I thought I was eight and it was Christmas day, but because it was fucking freezing. Outside the van there was a frost on the ground and most of the other vans had upped and left (probably gone to their nice warm log fires), so we thought we’d better move as well. As it turned out, we received a message of our friend Laura who we used to work with back in England. We knew she was also in Christchurch and was going to do a bit of touring before settling down to work somewhere (in NZ), but we thought it would be nice to meet up. We paid for another night at the campsite, got showered and went to meet her in the city.Anyone that has been to Christchurch knows that although it is very picturesque it’s not very big. We spent a few hours wandering around the city with Laura finding out what her travels had been like so far and what she was going to do next. After a bit more chat it was decided that we’d all travel the north part of the South Island together. Not only would it be cheaper for everyone but it would also be nice having someone else we knew on board.Because we’d paid for only two people in the van at the campsite, we would have to sneak Laura in under cover of darkness. It wasn’t really an SAS operation, more like keep your head down and if you get seen just play dumb.

SUNDAY 19TH APRIL

Because of our expertise in undercover covert night operations, we managed to foil the couple who owned the campsite and didn’t have to pay for the extra body in the van; which if we can keep up for the next few weeks is going to be a miracle. We’re going to leave Christchurch today and head up the coast as we’ve all got to come back at a later date and there’s no point staying for too long. So off we head north to see what we can find. Our first stop was a little country pub in a village called Leithfield. I love this country. I’ve only been here two days and already I’ve found some things that make New Zealand better than Australia: 1) they have actual, real, full measure pints in pubs, 2) it’s not nearly six quid for one, and 3) the other customers are very chatty and make you feel welcome. After spending an hour talking to a very nice bloke, who had half of his middle finger missing (I didn’t ask why, but he would probably have gone in to details if I had. He was that nice) and finding a couple of places to stop, it was back in the van. We didn’t get too far mind. We stopped at Waikuku beach and had a game of Frisbee. That doesn’t seem an unusual thing to happen at a beach, but remember it’s probably only about 40F (4.5C) and we’ve all got coats on. On the way back to the van we got a rubber ball out to throw around. Within two minutes I’d managed to put it through one of the fridge vents on the side of the van. I barely threw it, and it bounced first so it couldn’t have been that sturdy in the first place. Now I’m glad we paid the excess on the insurance. After being shouted at by Louise for my actions, we got in the van and headed towards Hamner Springs.Hamner Springs is a proper old fashioned tourist trap. People come from all over the world to bathe in the world famous thermal pools, and we’re no different. First though we have to fend for ourselves tonight and sleep in a lay-by and cook in the van. Then tomorrow we’re going to sit in a warm pool outside, and probably in the rain.

MONDAY 20TH APRIL

The lay-by we stopped in was that good four other vans parked there; we thought we were going to get moved on by the police but obviously not. As I thought it’s raining, but we’re only coming here for the day so as planned it’s off to the pools. It’s only NZ$14 (£5.60) to get in so that’s another one that New Zealand’s up on Oz. After getting changed and showering (?) we head to the thermals. I don’t really know what to expect but I go in and it’s very pleasant if a little cold. I then realise that this is just an outside pool and the thermal pools are the smaller ones dotted around the place. After that misjudgement I just follow Louise and Laura like any other bloke who’s out of his depth (almost literally) at this sort of thing. A few of the pools are just the right temperature so we relax in them for a fair while and then someone suggests we go to the 41C (105F) pool. Before I got there all I could smell was rotten eggs; I know I haven’t farted and I don’t believe the girls could have done it, so what is it? It’s the hot pool. All of the cooler ones just smell like mild sulphur; a similar smell to a lit match, but this one absolutely hums. I go and sit in it and try to relax, but I can’t. The smell is overwhelming. If I’d have made that smell at school as a thirteen year old, I’d have been infamous throughout schoolboy folklore. People would talk about me like I was a god; they’d say things like ‘Well I heard it was so bad, it set the fire alarms off in the office block down the street,’ and ‘Well I heard two teachers had to retire because of it.’ But this was a smelly little hot pool. I couldn’t handle more than two minutes. I’d had enough. I’d been defeated by the rotten pungent smell of a thermal pool. If that wasn’t bad enough, there were middle aged women lapping it up, loving every minute of it. They probably thought it had magical powers like the key to eternal youth or something. Not too long after I got out and went for a shower, and waited for Louise and Laura to appear out of the fog.After a quick feed we’re back on the road again. The next destination is Kaikoura, home of lots of whales. So many in fact it is known as the ‘Whale Highway.’ That’s not the only thing you can see here, there are plenty of seals and dolphins too. After stopping on a bridge in the middle of nowhere, where we took some pretty cool photos of the mountains, we just drove and drove. It took quite a while as nearly every road in New Zealand is uphill! We finally made it to Kaikoura with less than a quarter of a gallon of petrol in the tank after being ‘on the red’ for almost an hour. After a quick look around (where we saw very little as it was pitch black) it was off to a campsite to charge up the van battery and get warm as New Zealand is still cold.

TUESDAY 21ST APRIL

Woke up this morning and there’s snow on the mountains already! We’ve only been here four days, so it bodes well for later on in the year when we go skiing. Today we’re planning on going whale watching. The odds are pretty slim though as we’ve heard that there haven’t been any trips for three days due to bad weather and lack of whales; which is pretty important when you go whale watching. All we can do is sit and hope for the whales to come within range. In the meantime I have to go and see the quack because my eyes are playing up something chronic. I went to try and get in at the local GP, and it was going to cost me NZ$100 (£40) just for a consultation. After pleading with the receptionist to let me see the doctor to give me a script for what I needed, and being refused, I left. This was not before being lectured about what was more important, my eyes or NZ$100. After replying NZ$100, simply because my script would only cost me NZ$15 (£6). I headed to see the pharmacist (named Rob Roy, honestly) who gave me the medication I was after with a nod and a wink. I don’t see what all the fuss was about. I was hardly after a litre of methadone! As predicted the whale watch was cancelled so we headed to the seal colony instead. Here we got as close as we could to the seals. Some of them were relaxing, asleep in the bushes or on the rocks. And some were playing to the cameras, as if it was all a game. Louise did get too close to one at one point, and it let her know by trying to attack her in the half-arsed, half asleep way that seals sometimes move.In the evening we went and had fish and chips (frozen chips the only minus), and then headed to the pub for a friendly quiz. We didn’t win, but did get some cheap beer. One of the rounds was on ANZAC day, and this was met with an embarrassingly high amount of people asking “What’s ANZAC day?” Even though they were not New Zealanders or Australians it’s a sad state of affairs when you’re in another country and you don’t have any idea what’s going on around you.

WEDNESDAY 22ND APRIL

We arrived at the whale watching place bright and early in the hope that we would be able to go out today. No sooner had we arrived and our names were being called for the first trip out.After watching the safety video, we headed for the bus to take us down to the quay. Our boat for today was called Te Ao Tamara, which means something in Maori, but because I didn’t listen I therefore have no idea what it means. Once we were all safely aboard away we went, the eleven or so nautical miles out into the South Pacific Ocean. When you head off the coast of New Zealand the land ridge comes to a halt around half a mile out to sea, and then all of a sudden drops from 800m (½ mile) to 2000m (1¼ miles). We stopped in the middle of the ocean and waited patiently for a whale to appear. Whilst waiting we spotted a few albatrosses and other seabirds and then all of a sudden he arrived. He being the massive sperm whale. I say massive and I’m right. At 40ft he could definitely be classed as massive. He spent around twenty minutes on the surface getting ready for his next dive. I got a couple of pictures but they weren’t very good until he dived. On the way down sperm whales arch so you can’t miss the best picture you’re likely to get. That is the one of its tail just before he disappears again for the next few hours.After arriving back on shore we decided the best thing would be to have one last look around the town and then head off along the coast and find somewhere to camp for the night. We drove for an hour or so and pulled up in the first lay-by we could find that had a toilet. A few games of travel yahtzee and then it was bed.

THURSDAY 23RD APRIL

After waking up unbelievably late (10:00a.m), we got ourselves sorted and headed along the motorway. On the way we stopped off at the Montana vineyards, one of hundreds around the Marlborough and Nelson area. I still don’t like wine, but Louise does so we stopped for some freebies.About an hour further up the road we arrived at Blenheim a quaint little town that we didn’t really stop at very long, which was a shame really as what we saw was nice. Following the brief stop off in Blenheim we headed towards Picton, the home of the ferry to the Wellington and the rest of the North Island. It took us almost three hours in our speed demon van; it’s an automatic so it takes an age to get up to speed, and when we arrived it was dark. When we arrived at the campsite we decided to put the awning up and see what it looks like. With this up you can easily sleep six people; the only problem is the back door is open so it lets in the cold a bit. We thought we’d try it for tonight and see what happens. Who knows we might die of hyperthermia.

FRIDAY 24TH APRIL

Hurray! We survived the cold and didn’t turn blue in the night, so as a reward we headed off in to town to see what we could do to pass the day. There was a nice walk that we thought we might try called ‘The Snout.’The walk takes around 3 hours and as it was only midday, and was pretty overcast, we layered up and set off. After around twenty minutes of walking the layers came off and the water was being drunk. The walk was really nice (although uphill for the first hour) and while we were stopping we saw some spectacular views of Queen Charlotte Sounds. Here there are some equally spectacular walks that we could do. However as it’s quite costly to get out there we’re not going to do it. When we got to the end of the snout (where incidentally two Japanese divers drowned in 1993) you can admire the whole of the area again, but this time from sea level. When you get to the beach there are thousands upon thousands of mussels just waiting to be picked. I also saw a seal just grazing or whatever they do on a rock about eight feet up. How it got up there God only knows.On the way back we managed to go up as many inclines as we did on the way here. I swear it doesn’t matter which way you go, it’s up!Back in town we bummed around a bit and went to the pub for a couple of drinks. Then we went to back to the car park and settled down for the night. Although you’re not supposed to camp in the car parks, we double checked with the parking attendant who said not to worry as long as there’s a ticket in the window we wouldn’t get bothered.

SATURDAY 25TH APRIL (ANZAC DAY)

Today is ANZAC day so there is a parade and service, as there has been for the last ninety odd years. The thing is it’s at 06:00a.m so you have to be up and ready. Louise and I just made it in time. We watched the service which was held outside at the towns’ cenotaph. There were over 150 current and ex-servicemen there and a few hundred members of the public there to show their gratitude to the deceased who gave their lives. After one last look around the town, where I bought an old map of New Zealand, we set off to Havelock, ‘The Green Shelled Mussel Capital of the World’. The roads were all along mountain sides and give you great views of Picton harbour. We stopped in Havelock where we met a nice Maori fella and his Scottish wife (I don’t know why but there seem to be a lot of Scots here) who told us where to go and stay in Nelson. Louise had some of the world famous mussels and I had chicken as I don’t like mussels all that much. After the feed we headed to Nelson. We were told it’s only 45 mins away by car, but it’s raining and we’ve got our F1 van! It took us almost two hours in the dark, plus it was torrential conditions outside. We spent an hour driving around the town before finding a suitable place to park up for the night. And it kept on raining.