Do Not Feed The Birds (5-7/05/09)

TUESDAY 5TH MAY

Laura ended up taking a job in the hostel we stayed at so it’s just me and Louise again. We’ve done Greymouth, so we head down to Hokitika: Home of jade in all its forms. We ended up visiting a couple of jade shops, but didn’t buy anything as we’d picked up enough in Kaikoura. We did however go to a glass blowing factory/shop. Have you ever seen it being done? It’s amazing. I ended up buying three pieces, a penguin a whale and a kiwi, just because I was so impressed by it. They could have been the shittiest glass blowers ever, but I thought it was good. We didn’t want to pay for another campsite, so we stayed in the car park of a working men’s club. This was not before asking the police first due to fear of being arrested.

WEDNESDAY 6TH MAY

Today we headed back across the South Island towards Christchurch, where on Monday we pick up Louise’s Mam, Kath( but normally Dot or Dotty because she is a bit), and Brother, Andrew (usually Flash because he ended up doing so in the pub once). We went through Arthurs Pass mountain range, which is stunning, and also stopped off in the town of Arthurs Pass. Here we visited the tiny multi-faith church which has a waterfall at the back of it. You can see it through the church window, which must make the Sunday Service all the more serene. Where we had parked there was a Kea (a native parrot only found in the south island). We spent around half an hour or so feeding it and getting it to take food from our hands. Apparently they are the cleverest birds in the world. I found out after I’d been to the toilet (where I was again confused as to where to stand) that you’re not supposed to feed them as it makes them lazy and they start expecting to be fed, rather than hunting for themselves. Very clever indeed, until you realise they are almost extinct due to they’re cleverness/laziness. To spoil our enjoyable time, along came a busload of Japanese tourists. It must be time to head off. Before we left, we did see the train that comes through the mountains. Because we’re poor we can’t afford to travel on it, and so therefore have to spend a lot of our time driving rather than being driven.

THURSDAY 7TH MAY

The nights are getting colder, or I’m getting older (very poetic), because I thought I’d died in the night it was that bitter. We are in Methven, and this is the nearest town to Mt. Hutt one of the places we’re going to ski. I say ski, Louise is going to ski and I’m going to board, so that should be a laugh. We needed some gear so we headed into town to find a shop that sells the correct apparel. On the way I spotted a man with no shoes on. To me this isn’t normal, but to New Zealanders (William G. Stewart and the clever people at ‘15 to 1’ said people from New Zealand are in fact Enzeders (NZers) not New Zealanders. It sounds a bit stupid so I’m sticking with New Zealanders) it’s not unusual (© Tom Jones) to see people doing this. Well I’ll keep my eyes peeled for shoeless loons. We ended up in the ski shop for about two hours trying to find a set of skis and snow boots to fit our bodies. As cool as all the gear looks, trying it all on is a right royal pain in the arse, and because we are complete amateurs when it comes to snow sports, Lyn the shop owner did well not to kill us. Eventually we got fitted and paid up. Not before finding out that I have size 7½ feet mind. For the last ten years I’ve been living a lie by wearing size 9’s. For a load of second hand stuff in really decent nick it cost less than £300, so I’m definitely not complaining. It would have cost double back home and treble brand new. After our mini shopping spree we headed back to Christchurch, not before a late lunch at the wonderfully picturesque Rakaia river gorge. Back in the van and through the New Zealand countryside once more, we spotted some fighting sheep, which is very funny to watch. We then drove through a village called Windwhistle (I couldn’t hear it) and one called Waddington (zero board games). Before making it back to Christchurch I had to swap places with Louise and let her drive because due to my accident with the toilet roll holder in Australia, I couldn’t see a bloody thing.