SATURDAY 22ND NOVEMBER
Went to visit the tiger kingdom today about 6km from Chiang-Mai. Its a bit expensive but it was worth the money. When we got in Louise was a little bit reluctant to go near them. I suppose it was justified as they're natural born killers, but this was only the cubs! The cubs were very friendly and keen to chew my pocket, but the same couldn't be said of the 1yr olds. They were quite heavily sedated which put a bit of a downer on the whole experience. The juveniles from 4-9 months were playful aswell, more like what you would see on a nature programme. But everytime they wanted to play with us they were wrapped on the nose with a stick, a bit like how you would teach a dog. I didn't think it was fair, but I suppose its the only way to keep them in check. I think they have a decent life, if you think that if they were in the wild they would get poached anyway. It's a bit of a moral dilemma, and I don't have a difinitive answer.
At night we went out to watch the football and got drunk with an Aussie named Ross and rolled in at 2am the latest night we've had since we've been away!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Trek (Did I Mention It's Up Hill?) (17-21/11/08)
MONDAY 17TH NOVEMBER
Woke up this morning and did absolutely naff all other than go for a swim. It turns out that there isn't a lot to do in this town unless you want to go and see some temples. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm really glad we stopped off here! Did the usual again at night, ate, drank and went to bed. Let's hope tomorrow's better eh.
TUESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER
Wide awake at 9:30am, just in time for a fresh cooked breakfast; there might not be much to do but at least the food's hot. And then: boredom strikes again. I can't find anything to do other than visit temples . I'm at the stage now where I might just cut my arm off just to have something to do. Hey-ho, here's to the evening. Got fed and a bit tipsy again. It's a bit like Groundhog Day but less interesting. I've even started to play cards with Louise now. It's a bit desperate cos she only knows how to play rummy. Oh well, off to Chiang-Mai tomorrow so that should be good.
WEDNESDAY 19TH NOVEMBER
Another long bus trip ahead, but it costs less than a fiver so needs must and all that. Six hours on this journey so I got the i-pod out and watched most of Gavin and Stacey. I don't care what anyone says Uncle Bryn is a class act.
Arrived at Chiang-Mai around 4pm. Shower and change and straight out for a feed and to get watered, and maybe have a look round. Only here for one day, then off trekking tomorrow to see the Karen tribe-people. It's 100% nicer city than Bangkok, it's a bit like Manchester to London. London's horrible and smelly and no fuckers got the time of day for you. Turns out that I didn't do a lot of sight seeing at night. Managed to get pissed as a fart on about 8 bottles of Chang beer, that's the equivalent of about 13 pints of run of the mill Carling. So all of what I did was a bit of a blur.
THURSDAY 20TH NOVEMBER
So, there's an Englishman an Australian and a Jew on the back of this truck. Sounds like the start of a joke I know, but in fact it was the tour party for our trip. There were other people as well, Louise, Omer the Jewish fellas girlfriend and a Belgian couple. After the meet and greet we headed of to see the tribe in the hills about 2 hours away. We had our mandatory stop at a local market where you could buy all your useless tat, then we headed for our first stop.
The first stop was in fact elephant trekking, I forgot to mention that bit didn't I. What a laugh that is. I've never done anything like it in my life. I've never even ridden a horse so I was a bit dubious at first. No need though. Me and Louise got put with Stu, the Aussie. He was put on the front and had to drive the Beast. It also turned out he was chief banana feeder and our spit-guard. Aussies are useful then. We wandered around for about hour then went to feed the baby elephant. It was only about 5 foot tall but it weighed around a ton. You wouldn't want it to tread on your toes. This is exactly what the great lump did to me when I ran out of bananas. We left before it did it again. After lunch we set off on our trek up the hills. We trekked for 90 mins constantly up hill on the most humid day ever in the history of mankind. My T-shirt looked like I'd walked into the shower for a week. It was worth it though cos we were at a waterfall where we could frolic to our hearts content. One hour later, back to uphill trekking for another 70 mins after which we finally arrived at our 5 star (sic!) accommodation. The room that we had was I think the families shed. All seven of us had to stay in it, all sleeping on the floor with no door, no window and no electricity. I tried to have a shower. There wasn't one, just a big water butt of cold water. I forgot to put the soap in my bag so I had to borrow that as well. In the evening we were invited to a pre-wedding party where Louise managed to get chatted up by a man who looked like something out of LOTR. She can't half pick 'em. In bed by 10:30pm as there was nothing to do in the dark with no electric.
FRIDAY 21ST NOVEMBER
Had the worst nights sleep. woke up about 5 times with a dead arm where I'd been laying on it, and then the pissing cockerel was having a party at about 5:30am. Anyway. Had cold toast and a hard boiled egg for breakfast at 9am and then had to trek at 10am for an hour and a half up hill before stopping for 10 minutes to buy more tat, and then trekking for another hour to a car park to get picked up and taken for lunch. Noodles for lunch, which I still don't like. Then: bamboo rafting. Good fun but you get absolutely drenched as you sit half afloat in the river on 5 bamboo logs strapped together that are 25 foot long. Left the hills and went back to Chiang-Mai. Back in the second city for a hot shower, clean clothes and steak and onion pie and mash with carrots, bisto gravy and HP sauce. I've died and gone to heaven. In bed and sparko by about 10:30pm completely shattered after two quality days.
Woke up this morning and did absolutely naff all other than go for a swim. It turns out that there isn't a lot to do in this town unless you want to go and see some temples. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm really glad we stopped off here! Did the usual again at night, ate, drank and went to bed. Let's hope tomorrow's better eh.
TUESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER
Wide awake at 9:30am, just in time for a fresh cooked breakfast; there might not be much to do but at least the food's hot. And then: boredom strikes again. I can't find anything to do other than visit temples . I'm at the stage now where I might just cut my arm off just to have something to do. Hey-ho, here's to the evening. Got fed and a bit tipsy again. It's a bit like Groundhog Day but less interesting. I've even started to play cards with Louise now. It's a bit desperate cos she only knows how to play rummy. Oh well, off to Chiang-Mai tomorrow so that should be good.
WEDNESDAY 19TH NOVEMBER
Another long bus trip ahead, but it costs less than a fiver so needs must and all that. Six hours on this journey so I got the i-pod out and watched most of Gavin and Stacey. I don't care what anyone says Uncle Bryn is a class act.
Arrived at Chiang-Mai around 4pm. Shower and change and straight out for a feed and to get watered, and maybe have a look round. Only here for one day, then off trekking tomorrow to see the Karen tribe-people. It's 100% nicer city than Bangkok, it's a bit like Manchester to London. London's horrible and smelly and no fuckers got the time of day for you. Turns out that I didn't do a lot of sight seeing at night. Managed to get pissed as a fart on about 8 bottles of Chang beer, that's the equivalent of about 13 pints of run of the mill Carling. So all of what I did was a bit of a blur.
THURSDAY 20TH NOVEMBER
So, there's an Englishman an Australian and a Jew on the back of this truck. Sounds like the start of a joke I know, but in fact it was the tour party for our trip. There were other people as well, Louise, Omer the Jewish fellas girlfriend and a Belgian couple. After the meet and greet we headed of to see the tribe in the hills about 2 hours away. We had our mandatory stop at a local market where you could buy all your useless tat, then we headed for our first stop.
The first stop was in fact elephant trekking, I forgot to mention that bit didn't I. What a laugh that is. I've never done anything like it in my life. I've never even ridden a horse so I was a bit dubious at first. No need though. Me and Louise got put with Stu, the Aussie. He was put on the front and had to drive the Beast. It also turned out he was chief banana feeder and our spit-guard. Aussies are useful then. We wandered around for about hour then went to feed the baby elephant. It was only about 5 foot tall but it weighed around a ton. You wouldn't want it to tread on your toes. This is exactly what the great lump did to me when I ran out of bananas. We left before it did it again. After lunch we set off on our trek up the hills. We trekked for 90 mins constantly up hill on the most humid day ever in the history of mankind. My T-shirt looked like I'd walked into the shower for a week. It was worth it though cos we were at a waterfall where we could frolic to our hearts content. One hour later, back to uphill trekking for another 70 mins after which we finally arrived at our 5 star (sic!) accommodation. The room that we had was I think the families shed. All seven of us had to stay in it, all sleeping on the floor with no door, no window and no electricity. I tried to have a shower. There wasn't one, just a big water butt of cold water. I forgot to put the soap in my bag so I had to borrow that as well. In the evening we were invited to a pre-wedding party where Louise managed to get chatted up by a man who looked like something out of LOTR. She can't half pick 'em. In bed by 10:30pm as there was nothing to do in the dark with no electric.
FRIDAY 21ST NOVEMBER
Had the worst nights sleep. woke up about 5 times with a dead arm where I'd been laying on it, and then the pissing cockerel was having a party at about 5:30am. Anyway. Had cold toast and a hard boiled egg for breakfast at 9am and then had to trek at 10am for an hour and a half up hill before stopping for 10 minutes to buy more tat, and then trekking for another hour to a car park to get picked up and taken for lunch. Noodles for lunch, which I still don't like. Then: bamboo rafting. Good fun but you get absolutely drenched as you sit half afloat in the river on 5 bamboo logs strapped together that are 25 foot long. Left the hills and went back to Chiang-Mai. Back in the second city for a hot shower, clean clothes and steak and onion pie and mash with carrots, bisto gravy and HP sauce. I've died and gone to heaven. In bed and sparko by about 10:30pm completely shattered after two quality days.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Wat Wat Wat! (14-16/11/08)
FRIDAY 14TH NOVEMBER
Supposed to have been up and out by 9am to meet the tuk-tuk driver who was to take us around the town for the day. As it turned out we walked out of the hotel at about 10:45, ah well, I'm on holiday so I have no schedule as such to keep to.Anyhow, we started to walk and got collared by another tuk-tuk. He said he'd take us to the same places for the same price. Bargain! He drove us 100yards, told us to get out of the tuk-tuk and into his car; it was a Honda, I'd expect nothing other than that, a Nissan or an Isuzu, only Japanese cars. Then his wife took us round for the day.
We went to nine temples (Wat's). Fuck me! OK, OK, so they're nice to look at, and some of them are interesting to read about but fucking hell. After the third one they all started looking the same to me: some bricks and some images of Buddha and a few monks. About 2 hours in I was bored shitless, still, only 2 hours to go.
Four and a half hours of my life later (I can't have them back you know!). We were back at the hotel. Another cold swim in the pool. It must be heated by a solitary candle, maybe one day they'll light it, here's to eternal hope.
We gave in to temptation and had a KFC. We've been here 11 days and its the first fast food we've had. They do mashed potato here. Louise told me later that they do mash in KFC worldwide except the UK, the sly fuckers. Also had a white toblerone. Stop me if I'm wrong but when i was a kid, toblerone used to be 9 pieces, each piece had one letter on that went T-O-B-L-E-R-O-N-E and it was reversed on the other side. Why is it now that you only get 8 pieces. Haven't the Swiss got enough money without conniving us out of one lousy bit of delicious nougat filled chocolate. The fucking war-dodgers.
SATURDAY 15TH NOVEMBER
Got up to yet another cold cooked breakfast, even the eggs were cold today. I'm getting bored of telling you about this so I might stop. I just want some weetabix.
Off to Lopburi for the day to see some monkeys (not monks, seen enough of them.). The fella we were supposed to meet yesterday is taking us. It's a six hour day and a 90mile round trip and he's doing it for 1500Baht (29GBP). He told us he earns 600B-1500B(11.50-29GBP) a day for a 13hour day, and it's usually the lower end unless he gets a day trip like today. Then he told us his wife earns 200B a day for a 14 hour day. Oh yeah, and his car costs 8700B a month on finance. Shit, these people are piss poor, it's even worse in Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia. I'm gonna stop being morbid now.
We arrived in Lopburi and Christ-on-a-bike, there are thousands of the little bastards everywhere. I thought when we were told there were lots of monkeys there, there were maybe a couple of hundred. Oh no, there are thousands and they do what monkeys do. That is run around a lot, scream at each other, eat, fight and get piggy-backs off cats with no tails. It was a good day all-in-all, but not very productive when all we really did was laugh at some monkeys like some inbred red-necks.
Got back to the hotel, showered and got changed, ready to go and eat and watch Liverpool v Bolton. Had another fall out with Louise so I went out on my own. I was back within 20 minutes with the laundry and a face on. The Kings' sister had died earlier in the week, and today was the day they cremated her. Because of this all of the town was dry as a show of respect, and I couldn't find the football anywhere. Turned out it was on cable in the room, so I made up with Louise and went out to get a pizza and some beers from the 7-11(open 24hrs) that was allowed to sell liquor!
SUNDAY 16TH NOVEMBER
Up and out and off to the train station to get the train to Phitsanlok( 4h30m) and then a bus to Sokhothai (1h20m). Sat waiting in the train station and saw a monk (suprise!). He had a shit-hot mobile phone and an ipod. Louise then asked me probably the most inappropriate questions to ever ask about a monk. Are they virgins? If they are do they masturbate? Christ what am I supposed to do, go an ask the poor little Kojak lookalike.
Got on the train. Nice and clean and comfy seats. Just one problem, mine wouldn't stay upright so I kept hitting this French bloke behind me in the face with my chair. Everything has its upsides.
Arrived at Phitsanlok train station, and proceeded to walk the wrong way to the bus station for about 500yds. Finally gave up and got a tuk-tuk. Good job really it was 2 miles to the main bus station! Got on the bus and made it to the bus terminal. When we arrived I had to ring the hotel to pick us up. While I was on the phone, the taxi drivers were hassling Louise about a lift to a hotel. One of them asked Louise if she was on her own, she said no. He then asked who she was with, she pointed to me and he almost ran off. There are some benefits to being this size, it stops little Asians from trying to crack on to your missus!
Supposed to have been up and out by 9am to meet the tuk-tuk driver who was to take us around the town for the day. As it turned out we walked out of the hotel at about 10:45, ah well, I'm on holiday so I have no schedule as such to keep to.Anyhow, we started to walk and got collared by another tuk-tuk. He said he'd take us to the same places for the same price. Bargain! He drove us 100yards, told us to get out of the tuk-tuk and into his car; it was a Honda, I'd expect nothing other than that, a Nissan or an Isuzu, only Japanese cars. Then his wife took us round for the day.
We went to nine temples (Wat's). Fuck me! OK, OK, so they're nice to look at, and some of them are interesting to read about but fucking hell. After the third one they all started looking the same to me: some bricks and some images of Buddha and a few monks. About 2 hours in I was bored shitless, still, only 2 hours to go.
Four and a half hours of my life later (I can't have them back you know!). We were back at the hotel. Another cold swim in the pool. It must be heated by a solitary candle, maybe one day they'll light it, here's to eternal hope.
We gave in to temptation and had a KFC. We've been here 11 days and its the first fast food we've had. They do mashed potato here. Louise told me later that they do mash in KFC worldwide except the UK, the sly fuckers. Also had a white toblerone. Stop me if I'm wrong but when i was a kid, toblerone used to be 9 pieces, each piece had one letter on that went T-O-B-L-E-R-O-N-E and it was reversed on the other side. Why is it now that you only get 8 pieces. Haven't the Swiss got enough money without conniving us out of one lousy bit of delicious nougat filled chocolate. The fucking war-dodgers.
SATURDAY 15TH NOVEMBER
Got up to yet another cold cooked breakfast, even the eggs were cold today. I'm getting bored of telling you about this so I might stop. I just want some weetabix.
Off to Lopburi for the day to see some monkeys (not monks, seen enough of them.). The fella we were supposed to meet yesterday is taking us. It's a six hour day and a 90mile round trip and he's doing it for 1500Baht (29GBP). He told us he earns 600B-1500B(11.50-29GBP) a day for a 13hour day, and it's usually the lower end unless he gets a day trip like today. Then he told us his wife earns 200B a day for a 14 hour day. Oh yeah, and his car costs 8700B a month on finance. Shit, these people are piss poor, it's even worse in Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia. I'm gonna stop being morbid now.
We arrived in Lopburi and Christ-on-a-bike, there are thousands of the little bastards everywhere. I thought when we were told there were lots of monkeys there, there were maybe a couple of hundred. Oh no, there are thousands and they do what monkeys do. That is run around a lot, scream at each other, eat, fight and get piggy-backs off cats with no tails. It was a good day all-in-all, but not very productive when all we really did was laugh at some monkeys like some inbred red-necks.
Got back to the hotel, showered and got changed, ready to go and eat and watch Liverpool v Bolton. Had another fall out with Louise so I went out on my own. I was back within 20 minutes with the laundry and a face on. The Kings' sister had died earlier in the week, and today was the day they cremated her. Because of this all of the town was dry as a show of respect, and I couldn't find the football anywhere. Turned out it was on cable in the room, so I made up with Louise and went out to get a pizza and some beers from the 7-11(open 24hrs) that was allowed to sell liquor!
SUNDAY 16TH NOVEMBER
Up and out and off to the train station to get the train to Phitsanlok( 4h30m) and then a bus to Sokhothai (1h20m). Sat waiting in the train station and saw a monk (suprise!). He had a shit-hot mobile phone and an ipod. Louise then asked me probably the most inappropriate questions to ever ask about a monk. Are they virgins? If they are do they masturbate? Christ what am I supposed to do, go an ask the poor little Kojak lookalike.
Got on the train. Nice and clean and comfy seats. Just one problem, mine wouldn't stay upright so I kept hitting this French bloke behind me in the face with my chair. Everything has its upsides.
Arrived at Phitsanlok train station, and proceeded to walk the wrong way to the bus station for about 500yds. Finally gave up and got a tuk-tuk. Good job really it was 2 miles to the main bus station! Got on the bus and made it to the bus terminal. When we arrived I had to ring the hotel to pick us up. While I was on the phone, the taxi drivers were hassling Louise about a lift to a hotel. One of them asked Louise if she was on her own, she said no. He then asked who she was with, she pointed to me and he almost ran off. There are some benefits to being this size, it stops little Asians from trying to crack on to your missus!
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Hike (12-13/11/08)
WEDNESDAY 12TH NOVEMBER
Don't know how but managed to get up at 7am for the rest of the programme we had been set for the two days. Got up to a fried breakfast; or so we were told. It turned out to be, wait for it, two slices of cold toast and a smattering of butter, topped with what looked like one scrambled egg and one slice of cold tomato. The tight bastards. I didn't even get real milk in my tea, I had to make do with shitty coffeemate. Anyway I digress.
The next part of our trip was to a national park to see seven waterfalls, supposedly the most beautiful in Thailand. Sound I thought, a nice stroll and a bit of fresh air to get rid of my hangover. Turns out it was a 3km (1.5miles for those of you who like me are still on imperial.) trip up hill. I'm never gonna moan about walking up Gonerby Hill again. It was worth it in the end though, there were some little monkeys up there who stole Marsha's (the Canadian girl-keep up.) coconut oil and promptly ate it. Thieving Gypo. Also last night she told us that when she went to a ping-pong show, one of the balls hit her.
Went back to Bangkok for the third time in six days, this time again for one night. I'm getting sick of the place, 4 days is enough for anybody. It's dirty and smelly and it suffers from capital city syndrome. One more day though and we're heading north.
THURSDAY 13TH NOVEMBER
Another bright and breezy start, 7:30am this time. A quick breakfast, which is again cold other than the fresh cooked eggs and toast, I'm starting to think that Thais don't like hot cooked food. We're then off to travel on Bangkok's highly inefficient but cheap railway service. The train was on time and we're off to Ayuthaya the former (but still cultural) Capital. Our ticket inspector was about 13 at a guess. I know they start 'em young here but still, 13?
Arrived at Ayuthaya station and got a tuk-tuk to the hotel. 50B, it's already cheaper than Bangkok and my wallet likes it. The hotels got a swimming pool so I'm as happy as the proverbial pig. Had a wander around the town, it's nowhere near as fast-paced or congested as Bangkok and the taxis and tuk-tuks don't try and rape your pockets as soon as they see you're foreign.
Went for a swim in the pool, it's not heated. Now my nipples could cut glass for at least a month. Went to bed after another nice meal (i've only had one bad one.). We've got to be up and out for nine.
Don't know how but managed to get up at 7am for the rest of the programme we had been set for the two days. Got up to a fried breakfast; or so we were told. It turned out to be, wait for it, two slices of cold toast and a smattering of butter, topped with what looked like one scrambled egg and one slice of cold tomato. The tight bastards. I didn't even get real milk in my tea, I had to make do with shitty coffeemate. Anyway I digress.
The next part of our trip was to a national park to see seven waterfalls, supposedly the most beautiful in Thailand. Sound I thought, a nice stroll and a bit of fresh air to get rid of my hangover. Turns out it was a 3km (1.5miles for those of you who like me are still on imperial.) trip up hill. I'm never gonna moan about walking up Gonerby Hill again. It was worth it in the end though, there were some little monkeys up there who stole Marsha's (the Canadian girl-keep up.) coconut oil and promptly ate it. Thieving Gypo. Also last night she told us that when she went to a ping-pong show, one of the balls hit her.
Went back to Bangkok for the third time in six days, this time again for one night. I'm getting sick of the place, 4 days is enough for anybody. It's dirty and smelly and it suffers from capital city syndrome. One more day though and we're heading north.
THURSDAY 13TH NOVEMBER
Another bright and breezy start, 7:30am this time. A quick breakfast, which is again cold other than the fresh cooked eggs and toast, I'm starting to think that Thais don't like hot cooked food. We're then off to travel on Bangkok's highly inefficient but cheap railway service. The train was on time and we're off to Ayuthaya the former (but still cultural) Capital. Our ticket inspector was about 13 at a guess. I know they start 'em young here but still, 13?
Arrived at Ayuthaya station and got a tuk-tuk to the hotel. 50B, it's already cheaper than Bangkok and my wallet likes it. The hotels got a swimming pool so I'm as happy as the proverbial pig. Had a wander around the town, it's nowhere near as fast-paced or congested as Bangkok and the taxis and tuk-tuks don't try and rape your pockets as soon as they see you're foreign.
Went for a swim in the pool, it's not heated. Now my nipples could cut glass for at least a month. Went to bed after another nice meal (i've only had one bad one.). We've got to be up and out for nine.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Frankie Says Relax (08-11/11/08)
SATURDAY 8TH NOVEMBER
It's the first day of the weekend so I thought I might have a few ales, and indeed I did. Spent most of the day relaxing on the beach trying to get a tan. It's a bit difficult though when the sun doesn't come out for more than an hour. Nevermind, i'm in no rush. Had a good night out plenty to drink, watched the football, every premiership match is on T.V over here so you don't miss much. Watched a fire show on the beach. There's no way in the world it would happen in Blighty, too many H&S forms to fill out. Fuckin' Nanny State.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, the Japs are here in droves again. It's like fucking Pearl Harbour (Am I allowed to say that, well said it now so it's tough).
SUNDAY 9TH NOVEMBER
Woke up with a bad head and watched a film with whatshisname from that film, it was rubbish but I watched it all. Got bitten to within an inch of my life by about nine mosquitoes. Again I didn't do much, had a swim and swallowed 12 pints of seawater and got sand everywhere. Fed the fish. Dragged sand in the room and somehow got about 3lbs worth in my bed. Watched even more football and read about Joe Calzaghe battering Roy Jones Jr.
Had some giant prawns for tea, absolutely delicious and cheap like the budgie. Retired to the room and packed my bag again. I don't know why but my stuff seems to have doubled in size and I can't fit my sleeping bag in my rucksack.
MONDAY 10TH NOVEMBER
Another sodding early start, back off to Bangkok another 5 hours gone just like that. Been sweating like a hog on a spit, came back in a taxi, four of us like pissing sardines. Staying in the same hotel as before, it's spot on for what you pay. Didn't do much again 6.30 start tomorrow, this is supposed to be relaxing but I'm getting up earlier and earlier. Its doing my brain and body in.
TUESDAY 11TH NOVEMBER
Off to Kachanburi. Went to see the Bridge over the River Kwai, rode on the Death Railway and visited the war cemetery. It was pretty moving seeing as it was Rememberence day. There were poppies everywhere. 15,000 allied troops died building that,all for the Japanese war effort. After we did that went to our digs. It turned out to be a barge on the river Kwai! It happened to be the best night we'd had. Met some nice people, two scousers Michael and Steph, Marsha and Jake (Canadian) and a couple of friendly Germans believe it or not. The two German lasses couldn't understand me because I talk too fast. All got proper slashed up on Chang (6.4%!) cos there was nothing else to do and we were about 8 miles from the nearest town. Went to bed in a mess and stinking cos there was only cold water in the bathroom.
It's the first day of the weekend so I thought I might have a few ales, and indeed I did. Spent most of the day relaxing on the beach trying to get a tan. It's a bit difficult though when the sun doesn't come out for more than an hour. Nevermind, i'm in no rush. Had a good night out plenty to drink, watched the football, every premiership match is on T.V over here so you don't miss much. Watched a fire show on the beach. There's no way in the world it would happen in Blighty, too many H&S forms to fill out. Fuckin' Nanny State.
Oh yeah, almost forgot, the Japs are here in droves again. It's like fucking Pearl Harbour (Am I allowed to say that, well said it now so it's tough).
SUNDAY 9TH NOVEMBER
Woke up with a bad head and watched a film with whatshisname from that film, it was rubbish but I watched it all. Got bitten to within an inch of my life by about nine mosquitoes. Again I didn't do much, had a swim and swallowed 12 pints of seawater and got sand everywhere. Fed the fish. Dragged sand in the room and somehow got about 3lbs worth in my bed. Watched even more football and read about Joe Calzaghe battering Roy Jones Jr.
Had some giant prawns for tea, absolutely delicious and cheap like the budgie. Retired to the room and packed my bag again. I don't know why but my stuff seems to have doubled in size and I can't fit my sleeping bag in my rucksack.
MONDAY 10TH NOVEMBER
Another sodding early start, back off to Bangkok another 5 hours gone just like that. Been sweating like a hog on a spit, came back in a taxi, four of us like pissing sardines. Staying in the same hotel as before, it's spot on for what you pay. Didn't do much again 6.30 start tomorrow, this is supposed to be relaxing but I'm getting up earlier and earlier. Its doing my brain and body in.
TUESDAY 11TH NOVEMBER
Off to Kachanburi. Went to see the Bridge over the River Kwai, rode on the Death Railway and visited the war cemetery. It was pretty moving seeing as it was Rememberence day. There were poppies everywhere. 15,000 allied troops died building that,all for the Japanese war effort. After we did that went to our digs. It turned out to be a barge on the river Kwai! It happened to be the best night we'd had. Met some nice people, two scousers Michael and Steph, Marsha and Jake (Canadian) and a couple of friendly Germans believe it or not. The two German lasses couldn't understand me because I talk too fast. All got proper slashed up on Chang (6.4%!) cos there was nothing else to do and we were about 8 miles from the nearest town. Went to bed in a mess and stinking cos there was only cold water in the bathroom.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The Rest Of The First Week. (05-07/11/08)
WEDNESDAY 5TH NOVEMBER
Went to a floating market today, it was alright. Louise got soaked by the people in front of us as we sped along the river. The good thing about the market is you don't get hassled by vendors to buy stuff, or so I thought. No, instead the guy who's driving the boat takes you to the vendors that sell all the crap instead of the 900 year old women who pick coconuts and starfruit all day. You know, what the experience is supposed to be all about. Also got our photo taken whilst we were on the boat and they put it onto a plate as we went around. Its a nice idea until you see the result. Let's just say it wont be selling as many as Charles and Diana's did! Also went to a show about snakes. We didn't go in as Louise is absolutely petrified of them. This was re-enforced when the Thai version of Jake 'The Snake' Roberts chased after asking if she wanted a photo with an 8 foot python.
After the day at the market we went to see the Muay Thai Boxing at the national stadium. It was good but I fell asleep about 3 times due to the fact I had been up since 6:45 (I'm supposed to be relaxing). It did go on a bit mind but there were some lads who were about 10 having a good old scrap in one of the first bouts.
THURSDAY 6TH NOVEMBER
Did a bit of sightseeing today and went to the Golden Palace. Oh my Lord what an amazing place. I'll put some pictures on if I get time. It would have been a whole lot better if it wasn't for all the Japanese tourists. I'm not against them it's just that they're everywhere, and its true what they say they do take pictures of everything and anything.
Had a massive row with Louise when we got back about nothing in particular just me being a bit of a cunt.
Saw a man walking an elephant down the street, apparently they come out every night about 11pm. Also got called fat by a bloke selling me knock-off t-shirts, not the best selling technique. However, I needed some so I got three for less than a fiver.
FRIDAY 7TH NOVEMBER
Travelled to the island of Ko Samet today, 5 hours on a bus then an hour on the ricketyist boat in the world and sat next to a sweaty German (not good). Got to our appartment its very nice except the bathroom light doesn't work. Also the complex is full of Japs, and they're mad for Jonnie Walker whisky.
Went out and had a few drinks and watched a band, they were from the Phillipines and one of them was dressed like 50 cent. They did all sorts of 80's classics such as Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer and Back In Black by the mighty AC/DC, but then they let themselves down by doing that crappy Pink song about her ex.
Also saw a bloke pimping his Thai girls to all the westerners in the bar.
Went to a floating market today, it was alright. Louise got soaked by the people in front of us as we sped along the river. The good thing about the market is you don't get hassled by vendors to buy stuff, or so I thought. No, instead the guy who's driving the boat takes you to the vendors that sell all the crap instead of the 900 year old women who pick coconuts and starfruit all day. You know, what the experience is supposed to be all about. Also got our photo taken whilst we were on the boat and they put it onto a plate as we went around. Its a nice idea until you see the result. Let's just say it wont be selling as many as Charles and Diana's did! Also went to a show about snakes. We didn't go in as Louise is absolutely petrified of them. This was re-enforced when the Thai version of Jake 'The Snake' Roberts chased after asking if she wanted a photo with an 8 foot python.
After the day at the market we went to see the Muay Thai Boxing at the national stadium. It was good but I fell asleep about 3 times due to the fact I had been up since 6:45 (I'm supposed to be relaxing). It did go on a bit mind but there were some lads who were about 10 having a good old scrap in one of the first bouts.
THURSDAY 6TH NOVEMBER
Did a bit of sightseeing today and went to the Golden Palace. Oh my Lord what an amazing place. I'll put some pictures on if I get time. It would have been a whole lot better if it wasn't for all the Japanese tourists. I'm not against them it's just that they're everywhere, and its true what they say they do take pictures of everything and anything.
Had a massive row with Louise when we got back about nothing in particular just me being a bit of a cunt.
Saw a man walking an elephant down the street, apparently they come out every night about 11pm. Also got called fat by a bloke selling me knock-off t-shirts, not the best selling technique. However, I needed some so I got three for less than a fiver.
FRIDAY 7TH NOVEMBER
Travelled to the island of Ko Samet today, 5 hours on a bus then an hour on the ricketyist boat in the world and sat next to a sweaty German (not good). Got to our appartment its very nice except the bathroom light doesn't work. Also the complex is full of Japs, and they're mad for Jonnie Walker whisky.
Went out and had a few drinks and watched a band, they were from the Phillipines and one of them was dressed like 50 cent. They did all sorts of 80's classics such as Addicted To Love by Robert Palmer and Back In Black by the mighty AC/DC, but then they let themselves down by doing that crappy Pink song about her ex.
Also saw a bloke pimping his Thai girls to all the westerners in the bar.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The First Few Days (02-04/11/08)
SUN 2ND NOVEMBER
Got on the plane at Manchester for a quick flight to Heathrow (somehow flyings cheaper than Vigin trains). There were a few tears at the airport not on my part mind i'm too shit scared of flying to cry about leaving Manchester. Arrived at Heathrow and checked in for a massive 12.35hr flight to Singapore (MAGIC!), no free upgrade to business class as flight was alredy full. We did get exit seats for the flight from Singapore to Bangkok which was a bit of a bonus, until I found out during the safety demo that I've got to help the other passengers off the plane in an emergency.
MON 3RD NOVEMBER
Made it to Bangkok alive, the heat is pretty intense and the humidity is about 90%. The journey from Singapore was OK, although it did rain an outrageous amount whilst I was waiting to get on the plane (this did nothing for my nerves).
Having got all of our bags no problem we decided to get a taxi to our hotel on the advice of just about everyone, as nearly everyone who wants your money in this part of the world is a conman.
FACT: Although all road markings are clearly visible on the roads, even to Stevie Wonder, they do not mean a thing. The motorway into the city only has three lanes, somehow there were five lanes of traffic. Maybe flyings not that bad afterall.
Checked into the hotel easy enough but when we got to the room two single beds ( No loving this week then. It is true men have a one track mind.). Had a walk to the infamous Khaosan Road and it is just that, one road. It's full of backpackers most of whom are there on mummy and daddies money so I already hate them (get a job you fucking horible students).
Went to bed absolutly fucked didn't know what time or day we were on.
TUESDAY 4TH NOVEMBER
Woke up in the middle of the night having fell down the gap in the bed where we had pushed them together. Pulled them apart after that.
Got up after about 4 hours kip in 2 days. It's not easy sleeping upright in an economy class seat, especially when you have Damien screaming blue murder at the top of its voice for 2 HOURS! That aside I was wide awake, had a bit of breakfast and went upstairs to our room to get some money to go out with and promptly fell asleep for 4 HOURS.
Eventually we went out and had a few drinks and something to eat. Nice food and cheap beer.* Saw a few firsts today 1) a ladyboy, 2) a rat for sale to eat at a street vendor, 3) a gecko and
4) a whole family on a scooter.
*note to everyone KSR is not the be-all and end-all of Bangkok its overpriced, get off your arse and walk to the next road its better and half the price.
Got on the plane at Manchester for a quick flight to Heathrow (somehow flyings cheaper than Vigin trains). There were a few tears at the airport not on my part mind i'm too shit scared of flying to cry about leaving Manchester. Arrived at Heathrow and checked in for a massive 12.35hr flight to Singapore (MAGIC!), no free upgrade to business class as flight was alredy full. We did get exit seats for the flight from Singapore to Bangkok which was a bit of a bonus, until I found out during the safety demo that I've got to help the other passengers off the plane in an emergency.
MON 3RD NOVEMBER
Made it to Bangkok alive, the heat is pretty intense and the humidity is about 90%. The journey from Singapore was OK, although it did rain an outrageous amount whilst I was waiting to get on the plane (this did nothing for my nerves).
Having got all of our bags no problem we decided to get a taxi to our hotel on the advice of just about everyone, as nearly everyone who wants your money in this part of the world is a conman.
FACT: Although all road markings are clearly visible on the roads, even to Stevie Wonder, they do not mean a thing. The motorway into the city only has three lanes, somehow there were five lanes of traffic. Maybe flyings not that bad afterall.
Checked into the hotel easy enough but when we got to the room two single beds ( No loving this week then. It is true men have a one track mind.). Had a walk to the infamous Khaosan Road and it is just that, one road. It's full of backpackers most of whom are there on mummy and daddies money so I already hate them (get a job you fucking horible students).
Went to bed absolutly fucked didn't know what time or day we were on.
TUESDAY 4TH NOVEMBER
Woke up in the middle of the night having fell down the gap in the bed where we had pushed them together. Pulled them apart after that.
Got up after about 4 hours kip in 2 days. It's not easy sleeping upright in an economy class seat, especially when you have Damien screaming blue murder at the top of its voice for 2 HOURS! That aside I was wide awake, had a bit of breakfast and went upstairs to our room to get some money to go out with and promptly fell asleep for 4 HOURS.
Eventually we went out and had a few drinks and something to eat. Nice food and cheap beer.* Saw a few firsts today 1) a ladyboy, 2) a rat for sale to eat at a street vendor, 3) a gecko and
4) a whole family on a scooter.
*note to everyone KSR is not the be-all and end-all of Bangkok its overpriced, get off your arse and walk to the next road its better and half the price.
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