FRIDAY 23RD JANUARY
Louise has an irrational fear of going up big hills, or across high bridges but doesn't mind flying. I'm the opposite. What a pair of freaks! At least we aren't going up a big hill today, eh! Today we went up Penang hill. To get there however you have to get the bus. It would be quite an easy thing to do if you got told to wait at the right bus stop. We waited for around 90mins before being told by a bus driver that our bus doesn't even come along this route at all; you have to go to the main station, which is only five minutes away, and the buses come every 10 minutes. On arriving at Air Itam you then have to wait for the train to take you up a massive incline for 1 mile 435 yds (2 007m) to Western Hill that is 2 450ft (735m) above sea level. There is only one line that goes up and down, except for about 40 yrds of track where the line splits and you have a passing loop, and then the trains carry on as before, either up or down hill. I understand that both trains have to leave within about 10 seconds of each other to arrive at the right time and avoid a collision.
When you get to the top (It takes about half an hour.) you get to see some pretty good views of Penang island. You can also see Butterworth, which is a fair distance away.There are also some more monkeys to stand and point at. Most of them sit in or around the bins scavenging for Nestle Milo packets. It must be all that chocolatey goodness mixed with sugar.
The return journey down the hill was a bit like the upward one but backwards. We did manage to see someone get on at one of the working train stops, which seems strange to people like me when you're not expecting someone to just be stood there on a platform 1 200ft up waiting for a train. We also saw the driver of the other trainmunching away on what looked suspiciously like fish 'n' chips in newspaper. It can't be that hard a job then.
SATURDAY 24TH JANUARY
Today we left Penang another early start 6:00a.m, to get to the Cameron Highlands. This is one of the greenest and most pleasant places to visit in Malaysia, it’s a little like Da Lat. This is only conjecture on my part as we didn’t get to see any of it. This was because it was Chinese new year and the whole town was full ,as all the city folk had gone back to there hometowns and filled up most of the guesthouses. There weren’t even any dorm beds available. The only room we could find was RM120 which is 24 quid a night and was absolutely disgusting.
We got on the next bus to KL which was at 13;00p.m, two hours away! We pottered about for a bit looking at the pictures of the Tea plantations that we wanted to visit but now couldn’t. Just in case we had the same trouble we went to an interweb place and booked a hostel, a bargain at 8 quid a night.
At the bus station we arrived early and then had to wait until 14:00p.m for the bus to arrive. Already one hour late the journey took us another six hours, this was mainly due to the driver stopping every time he could for what seemed no apparent reason. I didn’t really notice as I spent most of the journey catching up on my sleep.
We arrived in KL and were practically thrown of the bus on a main road. Arriving at our hostel pretty pissed off with everything that had happened, we were greeted by a very hospitable man who helped us with what we needed, and even gave us a better room.
SUNDAY 25TH JANUARY
Most of today was spent looking around Low Yat Plaza for a laptop. We thought it would be a good investment as most places that cater for backpackers have free wi-fi and we can also get some cheap films and spend a few more nights in, instead of going out and pissing money up the wall, for no benefit other than a massive hangover.
In the evening we went around Chinatown we were staying, expecting to see some parades and maybe a few fireworks or even some street dancers. This wasn’t too much to expect I don’t think, as Malaysia has quite a large Chinese population (as well as Indian), and it was Chinese New Year. It didn’t really materialise though, there was the odd little thing, but nothing to suggest that it was a major holiday. I think this might have something to do with most of them stopping in guesthouses in the Cameron Highlands.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Karma (21-22/01/09)
WEDNESDAY 21ST JANUARY
Up and about bright and early after watching President (of the world) Obama's inauguration until Christ knows when. The bus was an hour late, so although we had to be outside from 7:30a.m we didn't have any breakfast, so I was starving and mardy (this is a word) until 10:00a.m. We were forced to sit on the back seat of a tiny minibus while all the Asian passengers got nice comfy seats. It would have been a lot easier for two of them to sit where we sat. They're tiny and I'm hardly anorexic. After a quick stop we were then moved into another minivan, this time it was 3 of us squashed into a tiny space. The bus driver was a complete and utter cock. He was shouting and bawling, telling us to do this and that and hurry up. If he'd have given us a bit of a helping hand it wouldn't have gone unnoticed, but he never. When we stopped to get on a third bus to get to the border, I was unloading my bags and with technical precision hit the driver in the bollocks with my rucksack. Good. Serves him right for being a complete knob all the way there.
The final leg of the journey was over the border and to Penang island. The border crossing was the easiest I've ever encountered. It took less than five minutes, including having to unload our bags that weren't even x-rayed. It would have been easy to smuggle whatever you wanted, the guards were on wind-down waiting to clock off. There were only four people on the bus, me and Louise, and two Canadians. These were, without doubt, the two most miserable people I've had the displeasure of meeting. One of them didn't even speak until about an hour before we arrived, we'd been on the same bus for almost 3 hours.
We finally got off the bus at 9:00p.m, and then we had to put our clocks forward another hour. We were hot, sweaty and in need of a shower. The first guesthouse we found we stayed at, all we were bothered about was getting out of a manky clothes. After a quick feed, we went to bed, hoping for a more productive day tomorrow.
THURSDAY 22ND JANUARY
We moved guesthouses first thing today. We need air-con, Malaysia is so humid. We had breakfast and then had a relaxing stroll around the town. It was still too hot so we ended up going into the local shopping plaza. Air-con-tastic.
We spent the best part of three hours walking around the Malaysian version of the Trafford centre. Most of it was just rubbish shops full of knock-off designer wear and overpriced electronics, I thought it was supposed to be cheap here for that sort of thing.
In the evening we went out for a nice meal and watched, in my opinion, the greatest pub caberet act in the world ever! They sung in Bahasa(official language) , one of many Chinese dialects and English. However, like many Asians they have difficulty saying r's, v's and w's. When they sung something that was on the karaoke in English, and they couldn't say it they just made it up. Pure pub act class. Later on we went back to the plaza and watched [*REC]. It's that Spanish zombie film, it's not that new but it was the unedited version and it scared the living shit out of me.
Went back to the guesthouse and changed my pants. Went to bed.
Up and about bright and early after watching President (of the world) Obama's inauguration until Christ knows when. The bus was an hour late, so although we had to be outside from 7:30a.m we didn't have any breakfast, so I was starving and mardy (this is a word) until 10:00a.m. We were forced to sit on the back seat of a tiny minibus while all the Asian passengers got nice comfy seats. It would have been a lot easier for two of them to sit where we sat. They're tiny and I'm hardly anorexic. After a quick stop we were then moved into another minivan, this time it was 3 of us squashed into a tiny space. The bus driver was a complete and utter cock. He was shouting and bawling, telling us to do this and that and hurry up. If he'd have given us a bit of a helping hand it wouldn't have gone unnoticed, but he never. When we stopped to get on a third bus to get to the border, I was unloading my bags and with technical precision hit the driver in the bollocks with my rucksack. Good. Serves him right for being a complete knob all the way there.
The final leg of the journey was over the border and to Penang island. The border crossing was the easiest I've ever encountered. It took less than five minutes, including having to unload our bags that weren't even x-rayed. It would have been easy to smuggle whatever you wanted, the guards were on wind-down waiting to clock off. There were only four people on the bus, me and Louise, and two Canadians. These were, without doubt, the two most miserable people I've had the displeasure of meeting. One of them didn't even speak until about an hour before we arrived, we'd been on the same bus for almost 3 hours.
We finally got off the bus at 9:00p.m, and then we had to put our clocks forward another hour. We were hot, sweaty and in need of a shower. The first guesthouse we found we stayed at, all we were bothered about was getting out of a manky clothes. After a quick feed, we went to bed, hoping for a more productive day tomorrow.
THURSDAY 22ND JANUARY
We moved guesthouses first thing today. We need air-con, Malaysia is so humid. We had breakfast and then had a relaxing stroll around the town. It was still too hot so we ended up going into the local shopping plaza. Air-con-tastic.
We spent the best part of three hours walking around the Malaysian version of the Trafford centre. Most of it was just rubbish shops full of knock-off designer wear and overpriced electronics, I thought it was supposed to be cheap here for that sort of thing.
In the evening we went out for a nice meal and watched, in my opinion, the greatest pub caberet act in the world ever! They sung in Bahasa(official language) , one of many Chinese dialects and English. However, like many Asians they have difficulty saying r's, v's and w's. When they sung something that was on the karaoke in English, and they couldn't say it they just made it up. Pure pub act class. Later on we went back to the plaza and watched [*REC]. It's that Spanish zombie film, it's not that new but it was the unedited version and it scared the living shit out of me.
Went back to the guesthouse and changed my pants. Went to bed.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Welcome ToThe White Island Of Thailand (18-20/01/09)
SUNDAY 18TH JANUARY
We decided to go to Patong beach today, on a scooter. At first we were going to have one each, but this idea was thrown out after about two minutes. Louise got confused by the basket on the front of the bike, it didn't turn (like it does on a pushbike), when she turned the handlebars so she was in fear of her life from that point on. After a lot of tantrums I decide it would be best if we only had one bike.
We arrived at Patong beach around 12:00p.m. and were greeted by a town that could have been taken from any 18-30 destination in Europe, but reminded me 100% of Ibiza. Welcome to chav central. Not only was there a major fast food company every other business, there were tattooists everywhere, and all the gypo gold you could want. We spent most of the day looking around in shops, to see if we could get anything at a half decent price. The only thing we managed to get was a dress for Louise, which was still overpriced.
I spotted a pub that sold proper pints, in proper pint glasses, so we treated ourselves to a couple, and the biggest basket of onion rings ever! Also saw the best Carlos Valderrama lookalike in the history of the world.
The evening I went for a pool competition at a bar back in Karon, and was told I was 24hours early. There wasn't much else doing really. In the morning we're going to Big C, which is like Big W or Walmart, to get Louise a swimming costume. What a waste of a morning that'll be.
MONDAY 19TH JANUARY
Went to Big C and Tesco Lotus. It took us the best part of two hours to find the place. It's supposed to be one of the easiest places to find on the whole island. We didn't find Louise a swimming costume either. Told you it would be a waste of time.
I spent most of the day catching up on this blog. Louise, in the meantime, was sat by a 4* hotel pool getting a tan.
In the evening I went in the pool competition, this time on the right day. I was drawn against the only player in it that was any good. The draw was made while I was in the toilet. Very convinient. It seems like the owner didn't want to have a youngster show up his regulars. I'm not Ronnie O'Sullivan, but after playing in the first match, and losing, I then had to watch six of the worst players ever. I mean they were proper shit. The bloke that beat me won it, but that's of scant consolation to me.
TUESDAY 20TH JANUARY
I again spent most of the day on the interweb, I was trying to find out why skype won't credit me for a voucher I got free with one of their headsets, but to no avail so far. Louise sneeked in to the 4* hotel again with a couple of girls she had met.
In the evening we went to the night market. It was more like the fair at home. It had hook-a-duck, a dart/balloon game, that game where you have to throw a ball at a target to make the pretty lady(boy) fall in the water and the hupla game. This was nigh on impossible as the rings were the same as the little rubber ones you used to have in P.E. and you had to get them over a free standing bottle of whisky. FIX.
At another market I got some new trainers for £12(I've just found out how to enter the pound sign on computers with no designated key. You have to type in £ in HTML language. It's only taken me 10 weeks.). I was a bit pissed cos I got a similar pair in Saigon for £7(Look, twice in one paragraph.).
I went back to the guesthouse at around 11:00p.m. and Obama's inauguration was on every channel. I only wanted to see Springsteen but I think he'd already been on. I did see Aretha Franklin though and she was quite good. Went to bed. We're going to Malaysia at 07:30a.m. and it's more than a 12 hour bus ride.
We decided to go to Patong beach today, on a scooter. At first we were going to have one each, but this idea was thrown out after about two minutes. Louise got confused by the basket on the front of the bike, it didn't turn (like it does on a pushbike), when she turned the handlebars so she was in fear of her life from that point on. After a lot of tantrums I decide it would be best if we only had one bike.
We arrived at Patong beach around 12:00p.m. and were greeted by a town that could have been taken from any 18-30 destination in Europe, but reminded me 100% of Ibiza. Welcome to chav central. Not only was there a major fast food company every other business, there were tattooists everywhere, and all the gypo gold you could want. We spent most of the day looking around in shops, to see if we could get anything at a half decent price. The only thing we managed to get was a dress for Louise, which was still overpriced.
I spotted a pub that sold proper pints, in proper pint glasses, so we treated ourselves to a couple, and the biggest basket of onion rings ever! Also saw the best Carlos Valderrama lookalike in the history of the world.
The evening I went for a pool competition at a bar back in Karon, and was told I was 24hours early. There wasn't much else doing really. In the morning we're going to Big C, which is like Big W or Walmart, to get Louise a swimming costume. What a waste of a morning that'll be.
MONDAY 19TH JANUARY
Went to Big C and Tesco Lotus. It took us the best part of two hours to find the place. It's supposed to be one of the easiest places to find on the whole island. We didn't find Louise a swimming costume either. Told you it would be a waste of time.
I spent most of the day catching up on this blog. Louise, in the meantime, was sat by a 4* hotel pool getting a tan.
In the evening I went in the pool competition, this time on the right day. I was drawn against the only player in it that was any good. The draw was made while I was in the toilet. Very convinient. It seems like the owner didn't want to have a youngster show up his regulars. I'm not Ronnie O'Sullivan, but after playing in the first match, and losing, I then had to watch six of the worst players ever. I mean they were proper shit. The bloke that beat me won it, but that's of scant consolation to me.
TUESDAY 20TH JANUARY
I again spent most of the day on the interweb, I was trying to find out why skype won't credit me for a voucher I got free with one of their headsets, but to no avail so far. Louise sneeked in to the 4* hotel again with a couple of girls she had met.
In the evening we went to the night market. It was more like the fair at home. It had hook-a-duck, a dart/balloon game, that game where you have to throw a ball at a target to make the pretty lady(boy) fall in the water and the hupla game. This was nigh on impossible as the rings were the same as the little rubber ones you used to have in P.E. and you had to get them over a free standing bottle of whisky. FIX.
At another market I got some new trainers for £12(I've just found out how to enter the pound sign on computers with no designated key. You have to type in £ in HTML language. It's only taken me 10 weeks.). I was a bit pissed cos I got a similar pair in Saigon for £7(Look, twice in one paragraph.).
I went back to the guesthouse at around 11:00p.m. and Obama's inauguration was on every channel. I only wanted to see Springsteen but I think he'd already been on. I did see Aretha Franklin though and she was quite good. Went to bed. We're going to Malaysia at 07:30a.m. and it's more than a 12 hour bus ride.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I Should Have Bought More Money (12-17/01/09)
MONDAY 12TH JANUARY
Went to Pantip Plaza in Bangkok to by a new camera as ours is rubbish. It took us almost 4 hours mainly due to me spending most of the time looking for a cheap laptop. I shouldn't have bothered, most of them were cheaper in England and not nicked. We did get a decent camera on the cheap though so all was not lost. We went to KFC. Whilst I was enjoying my chicken covered in a secret blend of herbs and spices, I thought I'd spoil myself and put some ketchup on my fries. Big mistake. I liberally covered my chips with tommy K, whilst at the same time covering most my shirt, trouser leg and shoe at the same time due to the massive hole in the side of the bottle. Wonderful.
We had spent too long at the shopping mall and it was now 17:00p.m. We had to get back to our guesthouse near KSR, pick up our bags and make it to the train station for a train to Surat Thani to get the boat to Ko Pha Ngan, all by 18:20p.m in the middle of the Bangkok rush hour. This was not going to be easy. Firstly we tried the bus; it would have been quicker to walk. We then hailed a tuk-tuk, and in pidgin English tried to explain what we had to do and that we had to do it fast. Somehow, after not moving for 20 minutes, we made it to the station with over half an hour to spare. We got ourselves settled on the train and I went to get some drinks. Inadvertently I got caught just as the national anthem started; this requires everyone to stand still and pay respect to the King, whether or not you're a Thai national. (This also happened in Chiang-Mai. Note to self: Do not go anywhere at 18:00p.m.)
We spent the night on the train talking to a three Scottish hairdressers. It was hard work. They weren't the most warming of people I've ever met (must be the cold in Scotland, eh!). It looked like I was going to get a decent nights sleep, as the beds were quite generous in size. This didn't happen, the KFC I'd eaten kept me up all night with gut ache. It was made that extra bit worse by the fact that there was only the Asian squat toilet, and I was on an express sleeper train.
TUESDAY 13TH JANUARY
We had been lied to again by a travel agent. They said we would be on Ko Pha Ngan by dinner time. There was a bit of scene on the boat. The boat ride to KPN takes over 3 hours and today was a particularly rough day on the sea. I don't think I've ever been on or in any vehicle where so many people have been travel sick at one time. A fair estimate of about 15% of the people on board were doing their Linda Blair impressions. My three favourites, in no particular order, were; a boy of about 5 who sat behind us and threw up constantly for the entire journey and was so sick it made his mum throw up as well; a girl who was all fine and dandy one minute and then all of a sudden spewed on her own feet; and a woman who was sat on the floor of the top deck with a yellow rain mac on (undone, hood up) with a carrier bag over her ears ready just in case.
After leaving the boat we were practically forced to get in a van, by the price fixing tuk-tuk Mafia, that would take us to Hat Rin for an extortionate 100B each.
Got a cheap room for 300B a night and went looking for something to do. It was cold and wet and there was no Moon Party (half, full, silver, black) of any description until Saturday, so most of the island was dead. Great.
WEDNESDAY 14TH JANUARY
Even though there wasn't much to do, there was no-one around, and the weather was shitty we thought we'd give the island a couple more days. We soon sacked that idea off after getting charged a fiver each for 85 mins of interweb time. The whole island is a rip off. The food is expensive, the beer is expensive and even the people who are there are complete tossers. If you do go, only go for a Full Moon and don't stay longer than a couple of days. Not recommended. Off to Phuket island instead.
THURSDAY 15TH JANUARY
We thankfully left KPN at 06:00a.m, not before seeing a typical English slapper trying to get a lift of some Thai bloke in exchange for a bit of 'how's your father.' The journey back to the mainland was smoother, for a start we were on a ferry not a fishing boat. It did take us until almost 19:00p.m to get to Phuket after stopping at a place that sold nothing other than overpriced junk food. We did meet a nice girl from York named Laura. We ended up staying at the same guesthouse as her and having a nice(cheap) meal in her company.
Not much else doing other than the fact I nearly pissed myself cos the cunt of a bus driver wouldn't stop to let me go to the toilet. I wouldn't have pissed myself, I'd have done it on the seats. Fuck him.
FRIDAY 16TH JANUARY
After doing a recce of Phuket town we decided to leave and stop at Karon beach instead. We got the bus for a very reasonable 30B. It dropped us off, unbeknown to us, at the wrong end of town. So we spent the next hour and a half walking back to where we'd just driven past, trying to find a cheap room. Not possible. On Phuket island the beaches of Kata, Karon and Patong are package holiday destinations, mainly frequented by Scandinavians, so this makes finding somewhere at budget price in the middle of high season very difficult. We did find a place, next door to where James and Carla recommended, that was an internet cafe first and foremost, but she rented her room out in the back for 500B (very reasonable for this area) a night. She also gave us free internet, which I have taken advantage of to keep this thing updated.
After settling in we got ourselves well acquainted with the area. It's not cheap, this is the place where you bring a thousand quid for a fortnight and spend it easily. Not really for backpackers.
SATURDAY 17TH JANUARY
Karon has a vey nice beach, so we decided to spend most of the daylight hours there. I finished reading yet another book, (The Cocky Watchman. It's about Curtis Warren the biggest drug smuggler ever caught in Britain. He makes Howard Marks look like a choirboy.) and laid about trying to get some kind of tan. On the way back we popped into the 7-11 and got ourselves a bottle of Kopparberg Swedish cider, my poison of choice at home, but not here its 2 quid for 330ml. In the evening we went out for the most English meal possible: Sausage egg and chips, with HP sauce and two rounds of bread. Delightful. Then I went to watch the scum and Chelsea both win in the last minute. Bastards. Going to Patong tomorrow on a scooter. I wonder what it's like?
Went to Pantip Plaza in Bangkok to by a new camera as ours is rubbish. It took us almost 4 hours mainly due to me spending most of the time looking for a cheap laptop. I shouldn't have bothered, most of them were cheaper in England and not nicked. We did get a decent camera on the cheap though so all was not lost. We went to KFC. Whilst I was enjoying my chicken covered in a secret blend of herbs and spices, I thought I'd spoil myself and put some ketchup on my fries. Big mistake. I liberally covered my chips with tommy K, whilst at the same time covering most my shirt, trouser leg and shoe at the same time due to the massive hole in the side of the bottle. Wonderful.
We had spent too long at the shopping mall and it was now 17:00p.m. We had to get back to our guesthouse near KSR, pick up our bags and make it to the train station for a train to Surat Thani to get the boat to Ko Pha Ngan, all by 18:20p.m in the middle of the Bangkok rush hour. This was not going to be easy. Firstly we tried the bus; it would have been quicker to walk. We then hailed a tuk-tuk, and in pidgin English tried to explain what we had to do and that we had to do it fast. Somehow, after not moving for 20 minutes, we made it to the station with over half an hour to spare. We got ourselves settled on the train and I went to get some drinks. Inadvertently I got caught just as the national anthem started; this requires everyone to stand still and pay respect to the King, whether or not you're a Thai national. (This also happened in Chiang-Mai. Note to self: Do not go anywhere at 18:00p.m.)
We spent the night on the train talking to a three Scottish hairdressers. It was hard work. They weren't the most warming of people I've ever met (must be the cold in Scotland, eh!). It looked like I was going to get a decent nights sleep, as the beds were quite generous in size. This didn't happen, the KFC I'd eaten kept me up all night with gut ache. It was made that extra bit worse by the fact that there was only the Asian squat toilet, and I was on an express sleeper train.
TUESDAY 13TH JANUARY
We had been lied to again by a travel agent. They said we would be on Ko Pha Ngan by dinner time. There was a bit of scene on the boat. The boat ride to KPN takes over 3 hours and today was a particularly rough day on the sea. I don't think I've ever been on or in any vehicle where so many people have been travel sick at one time. A fair estimate of about 15% of the people on board were doing their Linda Blair impressions. My three favourites, in no particular order, were; a boy of about 5 who sat behind us and threw up constantly for the entire journey and was so sick it made his mum throw up as well; a girl who was all fine and dandy one minute and then all of a sudden spewed on her own feet; and a woman who was sat on the floor of the top deck with a yellow rain mac on (undone, hood up) with a carrier bag over her ears ready just in case.
After leaving the boat we were practically forced to get in a van, by the price fixing tuk-tuk Mafia, that would take us to Hat Rin for an extortionate 100B each.
Got a cheap room for 300B a night and went looking for something to do. It was cold and wet and there was no Moon Party (half, full, silver, black) of any description until Saturday, so most of the island was dead. Great.
WEDNESDAY 14TH JANUARY
Even though there wasn't much to do, there was no-one around, and the weather was shitty we thought we'd give the island a couple more days. We soon sacked that idea off after getting charged a fiver each for 85 mins of interweb time. The whole island is a rip off. The food is expensive, the beer is expensive and even the people who are there are complete tossers. If you do go, only go for a Full Moon and don't stay longer than a couple of days. Not recommended. Off to Phuket island instead.
THURSDAY 15TH JANUARY
We thankfully left KPN at 06:00a.m, not before seeing a typical English slapper trying to get a lift of some Thai bloke in exchange for a bit of 'how's your father.' The journey back to the mainland was smoother, for a start we were on a ferry not a fishing boat. It did take us until almost 19:00p.m to get to Phuket after stopping at a place that sold nothing other than overpriced junk food. We did meet a nice girl from York named Laura. We ended up staying at the same guesthouse as her and having a nice(cheap) meal in her company.
Not much else doing other than the fact I nearly pissed myself cos the cunt of a bus driver wouldn't stop to let me go to the toilet. I wouldn't have pissed myself, I'd have done it on the seats. Fuck him.
FRIDAY 16TH JANUARY
After doing a recce of Phuket town we decided to leave and stop at Karon beach instead. We got the bus for a very reasonable 30B. It dropped us off, unbeknown to us, at the wrong end of town. So we spent the next hour and a half walking back to where we'd just driven past, trying to find a cheap room. Not possible. On Phuket island the beaches of Kata, Karon and Patong are package holiday destinations, mainly frequented by Scandinavians, so this makes finding somewhere at budget price in the middle of high season very difficult. We did find a place, next door to where James and Carla recommended, that was an internet cafe first and foremost, but she rented her room out in the back for 500B (very reasonable for this area) a night. She also gave us free internet, which I have taken advantage of to keep this thing updated.
After settling in we got ourselves well acquainted with the area. It's not cheap, this is the place where you bring a thousand quid for a fortnight and spend it easily. Not really for backpackers.
SATURDAY 17TH JANUARY
Karon has a vey nice beach, so we decided to spend most of the daylight hours there. I finished reading yet another book, (The Cocky Watchman. It's about Curtis Warren the biggest drug smuggler ever caught in Britain. He makes Howard Marks look like a choirboy.) and laid about trying to get some kind of tan. On the way back we popped into the 7-11 and got ourselves a bottle of Kopparberg Swedish cider, my poison of choice at home, but not here its 2 quid for 330ml. In the evening we went out for the most English meal possible: Sausage egg and chips, with HP sauce and two rounds of bread. Delightful. Then I went to watch the scum and Chelsea both win in the last minute. Bastards. Going to Patong tomorrow on a scooter. I wonder what it's like?
Sorry! (10-11/01/09)
SATURDAY 10TH JANUARY
Today was my sisters' 26th birthday, the fact that she's never home and she doesn't have skype makes it very difficult to get hold of her, still I tried. The plan for today was to take it easy as we had a long trip back to Bangkok tomorrow, so no heavy drinking.
OOPS.
I got completely shitfaced. I only wanted to go out and watch the Liverpool/Stoke game, but it wasn't on til 00:30a.m so I was having a few drinks while I waited. These few drinks turned in to the heaviest session of the trip so far. I do remember meeting the man that is Rhys Kingdom again, still on the hunt for fresh meat, and also an Aussie named Chris Frankish who I'd previously met while waiting for a bus in Hoi An. Louise told me that I spent most of the game talking to him whilst drinking my bucket of rum and coke through a straw. That's probably the reason why I couldn't recall anything of the game.
SUNDAY 11TH JANUARY
It was 06:00a.m, and I'd had less than 3 hours sleep and it stunk of sick in my room. It might have something to do with the huge pile of sick on the floor and my side of the bed. I managed to somehow get up and was just about able to shower and dress myself in time for the bus. I said my goodbye's to the staff at the hotel. I couldn't apologise to the maid (which I shall do now: sorry) who would have to clean up after me as I was unable to find her mainly cos I was still pissed and totally disorientated.
The bus was about 20 seats overbooked and it took 8 hours to get to the border on the worst roads ever. So bad in fact are these roads, that most of the time people drive on the dirt because it's a smoother ride. I felt sick and hungry and it was about 86F(30C) so I was baking and sweating. It wasn't an enjoyable experience. It then took us two hours to get through border control, which, even by Cambodian standards, is a long time.
We finally got on the Thai side and our driver put his foot down, (In Cambodia if they drive more than 40mph you're making good time.) it was 16:30p.m and we should have been in Bangkok by 18:00p.m. No Chance. I also had to stop and throw up at a service station. I've only been sick like this once before in my life.
We arrived In Bangkok around 19:30p.m. and went to the first guesthouse we came to. It had a bed, a hot shower and a T.V.
Job done.
Food, and then bed.
Today was my sisters' 26th birthday, the fact that she's never home and she doesn't have skype makes it very difficult to get hold of her, still I tried. The plan for today was to take it easy as we had a long trip back to Bangkok tomorrow, so no heavy drinking.
OOPS.
I got completely shitfaced. I only wanted to go out and watch the Liverpool/Stoke game, but it wasn't on til 00:30a.m so I was having a few drinks while I waited. These few drinks turned in to the heaviest session of the trip so far. I do remember meeting the man that is Rhys Kingdom again, still on the hunt for fresh meat, and also an Aussie named Chris Frankish who I'd previously met while waiting for a bus in Hoi An. Louise told me that I spent most of the game talking to him whilst drinking my bucket of rum and coke through a straw. That's probably the reason why I couldn't recall anything of the game.
SUNDAY 11TH JANUARY
It was 06:00a.m, and I'd had less than 3 hours sleep and it stunk of sick in my room. It might have something to do with the huge pile of sick on the floor and my side of the bed. I managed to somehow get up and was just about able to shower and dress myself in time for the bus. I said my goodbye's to the staff at the hotel. I couldn't apologise to the maid (which I shall do now: sorry) who would have to clean up after me as I was unable to find her mainly cos I was still pissed and totally disorientated.
The bus was about 20 seats overbooked and it took 8 hours to get to the border on the worst roads ever. So bad in fact are these roads, that most of the time people drive on the dirt because it's a smoother ride. I felt sick and hungry and it was about 86F(30C) so I was baking and sweating. It wasn't an enjoyable experience. It then took us two hours to get through border control, which, even by Cambodian standards, is a long time.
We finally got on the Thai side and our driver put his foot down, (In Cambodia if they drive more than 40mph you're making good time.) it was 16:30p.m and we should have been in Bangkok by 18:00p.m. No Chance. I also had to stop and throw up at a service station. I've only been sick like this once before in my life.
We arrived In Bangkok around 19:30p.m. and went to the first guesthouse we came to. It had a bed, a hot shower and a T.V.
Job done.
Food, and then bed.
Angkor (So) Wat (07-09/01/09)
WEDNESDAY 7TH JANUARY
Woke up around midday with a bad head, so I had to go out and get some stodge. After eating huge quantities of food I slobbed around in a bar with too much of a hangover to drink and got talking to two English couples. So engrossed by the conversation we conveniently forgot to meet our tuk-tuk driver who was going to take us to Angkor Wat for sunset. Later on I decided I could handle a couple of beers, big mistake. All it did was make me feel sick for the rest of the day. Went back to the guesthouse to sleep, ready to get up refreshed for another try at sunset tomorrow.
THURSDAY 8TH JANUARY
Not much happened in the day, got up, showered, ate and waited for 4:00p.m to arrive so we could go and watch sunset.
It was a bit of an unsteady journey, 5 miles on unpaved roads, which is a bit of a surprise simply because of the amount of visitors it gets. After paying the $20 fee each we were then told we had to walk up some hills to get to our vantage point. It's a decent view, quite high up and that, but you don't see sunset over Angkor Wat, you can only see sunrise, so it is a bit of a con. I was there with Louise and one of the couples we met yesterday, Tim and Kat.
* PLEASE NOTE THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS A TRUE ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED. IT IS NOT MADE UP.*
As the sun was setting it was quite a nice view (of the airport), I even took a couple of touristy pictures, but it wasn't breathtaking or an amazing feat of science or nature. What occurred next was something that will stick with me forever in my memory as one of the dumbest things ever to have happened. The sun disappeared and it went a little darker (as it would), then, as if there was a floor manager directing the audience, everyone barring me, Louise, Tim and Kat started a rapturous round of applause. We stood there stunned, mainly because we thought we had missed something, had someone just given birth?
What is the world coming to when people clap the sunset. If you did that alone in your garden at home and one of the neighbours saw you, you'd be carted of to the nearest nuthouse. What makes it OK because there's a couple of hundred people stood there doing it? Was everyone in that crowd really that much of an imbecile? I imagine so. These are the sort of people that still point at cars.
FRIDAY 9TH JANUARY
We got up nice and early to visit the world renowned Temples of Angkor, this involved another trip along the unpaved roads, not good for the haemorrhoid's. When you get there, what you get is hassled by people selling overpriced food and drink and tat. It ruins the experience when you're there just to enjoy what is often cited as 'The 8th Wonder of the World.' The architecture is stunning. The amount of time it took and the limited tools and equipment they had make it more amazing, but this doesn't change the fact that the Temple itself is in a bit of a state. There are lots of renovations going on and a fair bit of blue tarpaulin covering the worst bits, so this spoils it immensely. In my opinion it would be better to limit the number of visitors and let it fall to pieces over time. This won't happen though, simply because it is the number one reason people go to Cambodia. We only spent about 45 minutes at Angkor Wat because there where too many people begging inside (Khmer's get in free, so it's easy done.). The fact that Japanese tourists give the parents money to have their picture taken with the children (At one point we saw a baby getting smacked for crying because it didn't want to pose for photos.) does little to discourage them from begging. We spent the rest of the afternoon looking at some of the other temple grounds, Bayon and Angkor Thom and the one where much of Tomb Raider was filmed. These were more enjoyable because not everyone went to them.
Woke up around midday with a bad head, so I had to go out and get some stodge. After eating huge quantities of food I slobbed around in a bar with too much of a hangover to drink and got talking to two English couples. So engrossed by the conversation we conveniently forgot to meet our tuk-tuk driver who was going to take us to Angkor Wat for sunset. Later on I decided I could handle a couple of beers, big mistake. All it did was make me feel sick for the rest of the day. Went back to the guesthouse to sleep, ready to get up refreshed for another try at sunset tomorrow.
THURSDAY 8TH JANUARY
Not much happened in the day, got up, showered, ate and waited for 4:00p.m to arrive so we could go and watch sunset.
It was a bit of an unsteady journey, 5 miles on unpaved roads, which is a bit of a surprise simply because of the amount of visitors it gets. After paying the $20 fee each we were then told we had to walk up some hills to get to our vantage point. It's a decent view, quite high up and that, but you don't see sunset over Angkor Wat, you can only see sunrise, so it is a bit of a con. I was there with Louise and one of the couples we met yesterday, Tim and Kat.
* PLEASE NOTE THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IS A TRUE ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED. IT IS NOT MADE UP.*
As the sun was setting it was quite a nice view (of the airport), I even took a couple of touristy pictures, but it wasn't breathtaking or an amazing feat of science or nature. What occurred next was something that will stick with me forever in my memory as one of the dumbest things ever to have happened. The sun disappeared and it went a little darker (as it would), then, as if there was a floor manager directing the audience, everyone barring me, Louise, Tim and Kat started a rapturous round of applause. We stood there stunned, mainly because we thought we had missed something, had someone just given birth?
What is the world coming to when people clap the sunset. If you did that alone in your garden at home and one of the neighbours saw you, you'd be carted of to the nearest nuthouse. What makes it OK because there's a couple of hundred people stood there doing it? Was everyone in that crowd really that much of an imbecile? I imagine so. These are the sort of people that still point at cars.
FRIDAY 9TH JANUARY
We got up nice and early to visit the world renowned Temples of Angkor, this involved another trip along the unpaved roads, not good for the haemorrhoid's. When you get there, what you get is hassled by people selling overpriced food and drink and tat. It ruins the experience when you're there just to enjoy what is often cited as 'The 8th Wonder of the World.' The architecture is stunning. The amount of time it took and the limited tools and equipment they had make it more amazing, but this doesn't change the fact that the Temple itself is in a bit of a state. There are lots of renovations going on and a fair bit of blue tarpaulin covering the worst bits, so this spoils it immensely. In my opinion it would be better to limit the number of visitors and let it fall to pieces over time. This won't happen though, simply because it is the number one reason people go to Cambodia. We only spent about 45 minutes at Angkor Wat because there where too many people begging inside (Khmer's get in free, so it's easy done.). The fact that Japanese tourists give the parents money to have their picture taken with the children (At one point we saw a baby getting smacked for crying because it didn't want to pose for photos.) does little to discourage them from begging. We spent the rest of the afternoon looking at some of the other temple grounds, Bayon and Angkor Thom and the one where much of Tomb Raider was filmed. These were more enjoyable because not everyone went to them.
The (Rhys) Kingdom of Angkor (04-06/01/09)
SUNDAY 4TH JANUARY
We decided to leave the ghost town of Kampot for good, and head up to PP for one night and then on to Siem Reap to visit the mighty Angkor Wat. We made it back to PP after a non discript journey of little note. Having arrived around 13:30p.m, we decided to skip the stopover and head straight to Siem Reap. This did however mean about 14 hours of bus travel, but we carried on nonetheless.
After what seemed like an eternity, and having stopped at another Khmer 'Little Chef', we finally entered the last leg of the journey. Around this time the bus conductor (Not a bus conductor in the English sense. He was just a scruffy bloke collecting the money.) decided to put on the T.V. I wasn't paying much attention to what was being shown, but after 10 minutes of incessant laughter from about 40 Cambodians, I started to. I was watching what I can only describe as a cross between the Chuckle Brothers, Benny Hill and Mr. Bean. It was awful. However the locals were loving it. They were pissing thereselves laughing while I was sat there wishing I had something to throw at the T.V. Something large enough to destroy it beyond recognition. Something like a moose or an equally large North American mammal, or maybe just a North American as they weigh about the same.
When we arrived at Siem Reap a guy named Mr. Hay came on the bus and as we were the only westerners on the bus we automatically got his undevided attention. He offered to take us to a nice hotel that was a good price, so we reluctantly agreed as it was dark and he seemed genuine. It turned out he was genuine and he got us in the hotel at $9 a night, which was within our budget. He did tell us not to mention how much we'd paid to any of the other residents as they were paying $25 a night. I later verified this by rather nosily looking over a womans shoulder at her bill.
MONDAY 5TH JANUARY
Today involved:
Later in the evening we went out with the sole intention of getting food and having a couple of drinks. It turned out to be no food and lots of buckets of rum and coke. At $5 a bucket it wasn't much of a contest. We met a few people we'd seen around on this trip, most notably a Welsh lad named Rhys Kingdom, who just drank a lot and chatted up anything in a skirt. What a great bloke. He ended up going off pissed as a fart and leaving a bucket of Vodka and M-150, which is like red bull but has the consistency of cough medicine and the the effects of speed. I found this out later; having drank the whole bucket to myself I was wired and wide awake watching Spurs v Burnley live at 04:30a.m. No more.
We decided to leave the ghost town of Kampot for good, and head up to PP for one night and then on to Siem Reap to visit the mighty Angkor Wat. We made it back to PP after a non discript journey of little note. Having arrived around 13:30p.m, we decided to skip the stopover and head straight to Siem Reap. This did however mean about 14 hours of bus travel, but we carried on nonetheless.
After what seemed like an eternity, and having stopped at another Khmer 'Little Chef', we finally entered the last leg of the journey. Around this time the bus conductor (Not a bus conductor in the English sense. He was just a scruffy bloke collecting the money.) decided to put on the T.V. I wasn't paying much attention to what was being shown, but after 10 minutes of incessant laughter from about 40 Cambodians, I started to. I was watching what I can only describe as a cross between the Chuckle Brothers, Benny Hill and Mr. Bean. It was awful. However the locals were loving it. They were pissing thereselves laughing while I was sat there wishing I had something to throw at the T.V. Something large enough to destroy it beyond recognition. Something like a moose or an equally large North American mammal, or maybe just a North American as they weigh about the same.
When we arrived at Siem Reap a guy named Mr. Hay came on the bus and as we were the only westerners on the bus we automatically got his undevided attention. He offered to take us to a nice hotel that was a good price, so we reluctantly agreed as it was dark and he seemed genuine. It turned out he was genuine and he got us in the hotel at $9 a night, which was within our budget. He did tell us not to mention how much we'd paid to any of the other residents as they were paying $25 a night. I later verified this by rather nosily looking over a womans shoulder at her bill.
MONDAY 5TH JANUARY
Today involved:
- Getting up
- Scratching
- Watching T.V
- Scratching
- Washing Hands
- Eating
- Scratching
- Showering
- Watching T.V and Scratching
- Riding A Tuk-Tuk
- Eating Tea (Dinner If You're Posh)
- Going To Sleep
- Snoring
TUESDAY 6TH JANUARY
After the strenuous day yesturday we decided to go out for a wander around the town. Siem Reap is rather nice. Everyone is happy and they try to please all the time. We just chilled for most the day, taking in some of the towns bars and restaurants. We went back to the guesthouse at dusk to get changed as there are loads of mosquitos and short sleeves isn't recommended if you don't have any DEET spray.Later in the evening we went out with the sole intention of getting food and having a couple of drinks. It turned out to be no food and lots of buckets of rum and coke. At $5 a bucket it wasn't much of a contest. We met a few people we'd seen around on this trip, most notably a Welsh lad named Rhys Kingdom, who just drank a lot and chatted up anything in a skirt. What a great bloke. He ended up going off pissed as a fart and leaving a bucket of Vodka and M-150, which is like red bull but has the consistency of cough medicine and the the effects of speed. I found this out later; having drank the whole bucket to myself I was wired and wide awake watching Spurs v Burnley live at 04:30a.m. No more.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Please Don't Go (Here) (01-03/01/09)
THURSDAY 1ST JANUARY (NEW YEARS DAY)
Louise felt a bit better around 13:00p.m, after being not at all well due to the gone off pate, we both made it out of our room together for the first time in 2 days. She wasn't feeling all that well so we only ventured as far as an English bar about 100yrds from our guesthouse. It turned out to be a bit of a false dawn as we had to go back to the room an hour or so later. We did though still manage to have pork chops for dinner, which was nice. Due to the fact that all Khmer businesses have cable tv it didn't turn out all that bad. Louise however still ended up staying in bed most the evening. We did go out again later to find a travel agent that could get us to Kampot tomorrow, it is after all only an hour up the road, Louise was fed up being in bed by the beach when she was unable to get there. Then went for some tea at what can only be described as a sleazy sex bar, patronised by old westerners with young Khmer girlfriends.
FRIDAY 2ND JANUARY
We arrived in Kampot expecting to find a nice quaint little south-coast town where not a lot happens. What we found was a quaint south-coast town where nothing happens. No matter where we went or what we wanted to do, it was impossible to find anything to do other than eat expensive food. There weren't even any pubs or bars of any sort, and the only attraction was the river (which is pushing the meaning of attraction a little far.) or the Vietnam-Cambodia friendship monument, which looks a bit like the market cross in my hometown of Grantham, Lincs. I'm glad we came here.
In the evening we planned our escape. This involved us getting on the bus to Kep, 20 miles up the road. Also saw a rat as big as a Jack Russell; the dog breed, not the former Gloucestershire and England wicketkeeper (non-cricket fans wikipedia him), although many, including me, would say there's not a lot of difference.
SATURDAY 3RD JANUARY
Our departure to Kep began at 12:30p.m, we weren't really that rushed, it was a steady enough drive. Kep is described in the lonely planet (I use this as a guide, I don't follow it to the letter as many people do.) as .............."a seaside town still harbouring the remnants of civil." and " (King Sihanouk's) ritzy playground." It's not that glamourous. Now I know why people only go here for the day its crap. To me it's a place where boring people go to look at nothing. Even the nearby 'Rabbit Island' and 'Snake Island' have nothing to do other than sit around on. We thought we would still try and get somewhere to stay, even if it was just so we could watch Macclesfield v Everton in the F.A Cup (Louise is from Macc originally.). More chance of plaiting fog. The only place in the entire area that had cable was $25 a night. With this in mind, and after much deliberating we decided to do the only thing we could and return to Kampot.
What a mistaker to maker! We arrived back in Kampot after dark, having sat and read in a restaurant by the beach for 3 hours having carried our things around all day for nothing. We went back to the hotel we'd stayed at the previous night to be told they had no rooms left, so we just went to the nearest one which cost $15. With what it had cost us to go to Kep, what we spent there and the cost of the hotel back in Kampot, we should of stayed in Kep. Even though our hotel in Kampot had cable and the advertised game all week had been Macc v Everton, we managed to get the Newcastle v Hull game and it was 0-0. Not happy at all.
Louise felt a bit better around 13:00p.m, after being not at all well due to the gone off pate, we both made it out of our room together for the first time in 2 days. She wasn't feeling all that well so we only ventured as far as an English bar about 100yrds from our guesthouse. It turned out to be a bit of a false dawn as we had to go back to the room an hour or so later. We did though still manage to have pork chops for dinner, which was nice. Due to the fact that all Khmer businesses have cable tv it didn't turn out all that bad. Louise however still ended up staying in bed most the evening. We did go out again later to find a travel agent that could get us to Kampot tomorrow, it is after all only an hour up the road, Louise was fed up being in bed by the beach when she was unable to get there. Then went for some tea at what can only be described as a sleazy sex bar, patronised by old westerners with young Khmer girlfriends.
FRIDAY 2ND JANUARY
We arrived in Kampot expecting to find a nice quaint little south-coast town where not a lot happens. What we found was a quaint south-coast town where nothing happens. No matter where we went or what we wanted to do, it was impossible to find anything to do other than eat expensive food. There weren't even any pubs or bars of any sort, and the only attraction was the river (which is pushing the meaning of attraction a little far.) or the Vietnam-Cambodia friendship monument, which looks a bit like the market cross in my hometown of Grantham, Lincs. I'm glad we came here.
In the evening we planned our escape. This involved us getting on the bus to Kep, 20 miles up the road. Also saw a rat as big as a Jack Russell; the dog breed, not the former Gloucestershire and England wicketkeeper (non-cricket fans wikipedia him), although many, including me, would say there's not a lot of difference.
SATURDAY 3RD JANUARY
Our departure to Kep began at 12:30p.m, we weren't really that rushed, it was a steady enough drive. Kep is described in the lonely planet (I use this as a guide, I don't follow it to the letter as many people do.) as .............."a seaside town still harbouring the remnants of civil." and " (King Sihanouk's) ritzy playground." It's not that glamourous. Now I know why people only go here for the day its crap. To me it's a place where boring people go to look at nothing. Even the nearby 'Rabbit Island' and 'Snake Island' have nothing to do other than sit around on. We thought we would still try and get somewhere to stay, even if it was just so we could watch Macclesfield v Everton in the F.A Cup (Louise is from Macc originally.). More chance of plaiting fog. The only place in the entire area that had cable was $25 a night. With this in mind, and after much deliberating we decided to do the only thing we could and return to Kampot.
What a mistaker to maker! We arrived back in Kampot after dark, having sat and read in a restaurant by the beach for 3 hours having carried our things around all day for nothing. We went back to the hotel we'd stayed at the previous night to be told they had no rooms left, so we just went to the nearest one which cost $15. With what it had cost us to go to Kep, what we spent there and the cost of the hotel back in Kampot, we should of stayed in Kep. Even though our hotel in Kampot had cable and the advertised game all week had been Macc v Everton, we managed to get the Newcastle v Hull game and it was 0-0. Not happy at all.
I've Never Seen A Tobey Maguire Film (29-31/12/08)
MONDAY 29TH DECEMBER
Today is our last day in Pnomh Penh so we decided to have one last look around. We didn't really see much in the day that we hadn't already, so at night we went to the casino. I persuaded Louise to go, it could be our Christmas treat I said. She agreed and so off we went in the tuk-tuk. When we arrived it wasn't much cop, lots of rich Khmer's and lots of Japanese (Surprise!). We thought, 'OK we'll give it an hour.' We didn't last that long. When you go to a casino, it is of paramount importance that you take some money. We arrived there with about $20 between us and there wasn't a single ATM within 2 miles, just some Moneyscam exchange bureau's that charge you 5% on your credit card and give you a crap exchange rate on top. We left.
After our $8 tuk-tuk ride around PP in the dark, we arrived back at our guesthouse about an hour after we'd originally left. We sat ourselves down and had a drink, talking about our wasted evening, when we saw the young girl we'd talked to a few times still out selling books. We asked her why she was still out at 10:00p.m, why wasn't she home in bed. She told us that although she was very tired (I'm not at all surprised. The books that she was carrying weighed around 20lb and she had the physique of a 10yr old even though she was almost 14.), she hadn't sold enough books to pay the family bills. Her father had had one of his legs blown off by a landmine and her mother was also disabled, so this meant that she was the only person able to work and earn money. We sat her down and bought her a coke, and spent the next hour teaching her how to write some basic English phrases and words. She was quite fluent in English but she was unable to write much beyond her name and 'how are you?' I then taught here some French words that I could remember from school, such as months and days etc. She had spent around 90 mins with us and filled around four sides of paper with words and phrases that we'd taught her. Although it was around 11:30p.m, she was insistent that she had to go and sell some more books. We told her there was very little point as there was almost no-one around other than us, and she had to be at school at 7:30a.m. She was still saying that she wasn't allowed home yet (probably for fear of a beating off her father, unable to work but still able to thrash his young daughter.), so Louise gave her a $10 bill and said 'Go home and get some sleep.' The shock and surprise on her face was a picture. I don't think anyone had ever just given her money for the sole reason that she should go home to bed. I hope that in the future somebody else is a little generous to her but I won't be holding my breath.
TUESDAY 30TH DECEMBER
Away to Sihanoukville today for some NYE partying on the beach. The bus journey was nothing to behold, just bumpy roads and rest stops at the most overpriced place on the highway. Imagine Little Chef but not as good, and replace deep fried sausages and bacon with deep fried cockroaches and tarantulas (True!).
We thought that we'd get to SV the day before NYE because it would be easier than arriving on NYE. Oh how wrong we were. It took us:
What's on Star Movies? Ooh. Spiderman 3.
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR.
Today is our last day in Pnomh Penh so we decided to have one last look around. We didn't really see much in the day that we hadn't already, so at night we went to the casino. I persuaded Louise to go, it could be our Christmas treat I said. She agreed and so off we went in the tuk-tuk. When we arrived it wasn't much cop, lots of rich Khmer's and lots of Japanese (Surprise!). We thought, 'OK we'll give it an hour.' We didn't last that long. When you go to a casino, it is of paramount importance that you take some money. We arrived there with about $20 between us and there wasn't a single ATM within 2 miles, just some Moneyscam exchange bureau's that charge you 5% on your credit card and give you a crap exchange rate on top. We left.
After our $8 tuk-tuk ride around PP in the dark, we arrived back at our guesthouse about an hour after we'd originally left. We sat ourselves down and had a drink, talking about our wasted evening, when we saw the young girl we'd talked to a few times still out selling books. We asked her why she was still out at 10:00p.m, why wasn't she home in bed. She told us that although she was very tired (I'm not at all surprised. The books that she was carrying weighed around 20lb and she had the physique of a 10yr old even though she was almost 14.), she hadn't sold enough books to pay the family bills. Her father had had one of his legs blown off by a landmine and her mother was also disabled, so this meant that she was the only person able to work and earn money. We sat her down and bought her a coke, and spent the next hour teaching her how to write some basic English phrases and words. She was quite fluent in English but she was unable to write much beyond her name and 'how are you?' I then taught here some French words that I could remember from school, such as months and days etc. She had spent around 90 mins with us and filled around four sides of paper with words and phrases that we'd taught her. Although it was around 11:30p.m, she was insistent that she had to go and sell some more books. We told her there was very little point as there was almost no-one around other than us, and she had to be at school at 7:30a.m. She was still saying that she wasn't allowed home yet (probably for fear of a beating off her father, unable to work but still able to thrash his young daughter.), so Louise gave her a $10 bill and said 'Go home and get some sleep.' The shock and surprise on her face was a picture. I don't think anyone had ever just given her money for the sole reason that she should go home to bed. I hope that in the future somebody else is a little generous to her but I won't be holding my breath.
TUESDAY 30TH DECEMBER
Away to Sihanoukville today for some NYE partying on the beach. The bus journey was nothing to behold, just bumpy roads and rest stops at the most overpriced place on the highway. Imagine Little Chef but not as good, and replace deep fried sausages and bacon with deep fried cockroaches and tarantulas (True!).
We thought that we'd get to SV the day before NYE because it would be easier than arriving on NYE. Oh how wrong we were. It took us:
- 2 1/2 hours
- 25+ viewings of guesthouses/hotels/hostels
- 9 miles travelling back and forth
- $14 in taxi/motorbike charges
before we found a reasonably priced hotel that was 50yards away from the bus station at which we'd arrived almost 3 hours prior. Oh joy of joys. The guesthouse was good for the $14 a night we paid as it had cable, which can turn out to be a good money saver when you're on a budget. We did little else for the rest of the day as we were psyching ourselves up for tomorrow nights festivities and an excuse to get completely bollocksed on beer and gin.
What's on Star Movies? Ooh. Spiderman 3.
HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Orphanage (28/12/08)
SUNDAY 28TH DECEMBER (PART 2)
This was probably the best thing I've ever done in my life. Not only did it make me feel good (this wasn't why I did it.), but it also made everyone else feel really good. I am talking about visiting the lighthouse orpanage (http://www.lighthouseorphanage.co.uk/) in Pnomh Penh. This could be the most depressing place in the world if you wanted it to be, but it turned out to be completely different. We arrived there early afternoon after going round the market to buy rice and fruit for the kids. We were told that this is very much appreciated as there is no government funding whatsoever for this orphanage, so it relied solely on donations. We pulled up in Elvis's mean machine expecting to be greeted by kids rushing to attack us and see what we had bought them. This was not the case. Not only did they not rush us, they waited for us to give them the gifts that we had. It was a complete contrast to what we had expected it to be, the kids were extremely polite and remarkably happy. We spent around 4 hours there playing volleyball and football and seeing where they slept and ate and attended classes. There were 60 boys and 32 girls aged between 3 and 17 sleeping 16/17 to a same sex room. They all went to school half in the morning and half in the afternoon, with the other part of the day spent learning 4 languages, Khmer, English, French and Japanese. These kids are absolutely amazing and most of them had been abandoned rather than orphaned, which was a little disheartening to hear. We didn't want to leave in the end and all the children wanted us to stay and play some more but we had to. We promised to visit again and we intend to keep that promise but we don't know when it will be. I have to admit that when I left, I did shed a few tears and that is something I am not ashamed of in the slightest.
This was probably the best thing I've ever done in my life. Not only did it make me feel good (this wasn't why I did it.), but it also made everyone else feel really good. I am talking about visiting the lighthouse orpanage (http://www.lighthouseorphanage.co.uk/) in Pnomh Penh. This could be the most depressing place in the world if you wanted it to be, but it turned out to be completely different. We arrived there early afternoon after going round the market to buy rice and fruit for the kids. We were told that this is very much appreciated as there is no government funding whatsoever for this orphanage, so it relied solely on donations. We pulled up in Elvis's mean machine expecting to be greeted by kids rushing to attack us and see what we had bought them. This was not the case. Not only did they not rush us, they waited for us to give them the gifts that we had. It was a complete contrast to what we had expected it to be, the kids were extremely polite and remarkably happy. We spent around 4 hours there playing volleyball and football and seeing where they slept and ate and attended classes. There were 60 boys and 32 girls aged between 3 and 17 sleeping 16/17 to a same sex room. They all went to school half in the morning and half in the afternoon, with the other part of the day spent learning 4 languages, Khmer, English, French and Japanese. These kids are absolutely amazing and most of them had been abandoned rather than orphaned, which was a little disheartening to hear. We didn't want to leave in the end and all the children wanted us to stay and play some more but we had to. We promised to visit again and we intend to keep that promise but we don't know when it will be. I have to admit that when I left, I did shed a few tears and that is something I am not ashamed of in the slightest.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Un-Happiness Is A Warm Gun (26-28/12/08)
FRIDAY 26TH DECEMBER (BOXING DAY)
Why is it called boxing day? Answers on a postcard to the usual address.
We went on a trip today to the Cu Chi tunnels about an hour outside of HCMC. This was where Charlie and the rest of his Commie mates used to hang out trying to shoot Uncle Sam and his boys. It was a still a little bit biased towards the North Vietnamese. To me it seemed like I was watching a propaganda film to be honest. Whilst there you get to run around in the tunnels. These tunnels are 30/35/60/110yds long depending on how far you want to go. I thought I'd have a go. By the way they're only 3 ft high as well. It was hard work if I'm being truthful, even harder than the assault course on the Krypton Factor, and it is really hot. I only managed to go 30yds due to the fact I thought it would be a good idea to record it while I went along (first time use of night vision mode on the camcorder.). I came out at the other end caked in dust and muck and wheezing like a good 'un. To make myself feel a little better I went and sat on a tank. I also went to shoot an M-16 as well. At 80p a bullet I couldn't afford many. As it goes it wasn't the best experience. This is mainly due to the fact that I am a left handed shot and all of the guns (there was quite an arsenal.) are set up for right handers. For those of you who don't know much about guns; if I was to shoot left handed with a right handed gun, the empty shells would ricochet into my already piss poor eyes. I went to pick up the gun and straight away burnt myself, as I picked it up on the wrong part and it had been fired for about three hours already that day and so it was about 75C (167F). So there I am ready to fire this gun, burnt hand an' all, holding it like a right special, trying to look through the sight with my right eye (that can only read the top two lines on an opticians chart.) and shooting wildly at something I can't really see. If I was in charge I'd have said, 'Sorry mate can you come back with your carer, just so we're sure about letting you do this.' Louise had a go and did better than me. So I was pissed off and burnt.
Later on we spent almost four hours in the Ho Chi Minh War museum. This is one of the most interesting places I've visited in my 8 or so weeks away. It details both sides of the war and shows in graphic detail the death and the suffering that occurred on all sides. Some of the worst pictures were those of the massacre that took place in the hamlets of My Lai and My Kai of Son My village. And also the after effects of napalm and Agent Orange bombings. It did also piss down again all afternoon. While we were sheltering outside we met the nicest woman in the world named Pat, from Tasmania. Literally within five minutes of meeting her, she gave us her address and both phone numbers and said that we could stay there for free if we wanted as she would only be at work and the house was empty. Now why isn't everyone that nice.
SATURDAY 27TH DECEMBER
Off to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. This was gonna be an arse ache from the minute we left, because of all the easy going border officials. Turned out to be harder than that. We got on and off the bus three times, first time we were standing there like dicks for 45 mins whilst the passport controller was chatting up the tour guide off of our bus, and the second time we got on the bus to travel 50yds. Brillo!
Arrived in Phnom Penh and spent over an hour looking for a guesthouse with a bloke named Elvis. Finally got one in the backpacker place by the lake. We immediately forgot this when we went walkabout. We walked the wrong way through town and ended up in the slums. Hailed a tuk tuk and forgot we were staying and so it took us 20 mins for a 5 min journey. At night I got drunk and spent $20 playing and losing at poker. Also saw a scouser get his arse kicked by some locals after saying he could beat them all. Even though it was 4 or 5 on one he deserved it for being a cock. Got offered loads of weed at $2 for a massive sackful and all the opium I could wish for for next to nothing.
SUNDAY 28TH DECEMBER (part 1)
Went sightseeing today with Elvis! That's the name on his helmet and his business card so that's what we called him. We went to the scene of some of the most heinous crimes in the history of civilisation. For the uneducated ones amongst you I am obviously talking about The Killing Fields at Cheoung Ek. This is where the Khmer Rouge executed about 17 000 people between 1975 and 1979. Mass graves containing 8 895 bodies were discovered here after the fall of the Khmer Rouge. As you enter there is a five tier cabinet inside a Buddhist stupa containing 5 000 human skulls and bone remains. It's a bit graphic to say the least, when they uncovered the remains some of them still had the blindfolds on. Later on we went to Tuol Sleng prison. It is a bit dilapidated after the government stopped funding 2 years ago, but there are some really amazing artefacts and photos to look at. They say between 17 000 and 20 000 people were held prisoner here over 4 and a half years and only 12 people survived. Most of them were moved to the countryside or killed at Cheoung Ek.
Why is it called boxing day? Answers on a postcard to the usual address.
We went on a trip today to the Cu Chi tunnels about an hour outside of HCMC. This was where Charlie and the rest of his Commie mates used to hang out trying to shoot Uncle Sam and his boys. It was a still a little bit biased towards the North Vietnamese. To me it seemed like I was watching a propaganda film to be honest. Whilst there you get to run around in the tunnels. These tunnels are 30/35/60/110yds long depending on how far you want to go. I thought I'd have a go. By the way they're only 3 ft high as well. It was hard work if I'm being truthful, even harder than the assault course on the Krypton Factor, and it is really hot. I only managed to go 30yds due to the fact I thought it would be a good idea to record it while I went along (first time use of night vision mode on the camcorder.). I came out at the other end caked in dust and muck and wheezing like a good 'un. To make myself feel a little better I went and sat on a tank. I also went to shoot an M-16 as well. At 80p a bullet I couldn't afford many. As it goes it wasn't the best experience. This is mainly due to the fact that I am a left handed shot and all of the guns (there was quite an arsenal.) are set up for right handers. For those of you who don't know much about guns; if I was to shoot left handed with a right handed gun, the empty shells would ricochet into my already piss poor eyes. I went to pick up the gun and straight away burnt myself, as I picked it up on the wrong part and it had been fired for about three hours already that day and so it was about 75C (167F). So there I am ready to fire this gun, burnt hand an' all, holding it like a right special, trying to look through the sight with my right eye (that can only read the top two lines on an opticians chart.) and shooting wildly at something I can't really see. If I was in charge I'd have said, 'Sorry mate can you come back with your carer, just so we're sure about letting you do this.' Louise had a go and did better than me. So I was pissed off and burnt.
Later on we spent almost four hours in the Ho Chi Minh War museum. This is one of the most interesting places I've visited in my 8 or so weeks away. It details both sides of the war and shows in graphic detail the death and the suffering that occurred on all sides. Some of the worst pictures were those of the massacre that took place in the hamlets of My Lai and My Kai of Son My village. And also the after effects of napalm and Agent Orange bombings. It did also piss down again all afternoon. While we were sheltering outside we met the nicest woman in the world named Pat, from Tasmania. Literally within five minutes of meeting her, she gave us her address and both phone numbers and said that we could stay there for free if we wanted as she would only be at work and the house was empty. Now why isn't everyone that nice.
SATURDAY 27TH DECEMBER
Off to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. This was gonna be an arse ache from the minute we left, because of all the easy going border officials. Turned out to be harder than that. We got on and off the bus three times, first time we were standing there like dicks for 45 mins whilst the passport controller was chatting up the tour guide off of our bus, and the second time we got on the bus to travel 50yds. Brillo!
Arrived in Phnom Penh and spent over an hour looking for a guesthouse with a bloke named Elvis. Finally got one in the backpacker place by the lake. We immediately forgot this when we went walkabout. We walked the wrong way through town and ended up in the slums. Hailed a tuk tuk and forgot we were staying and so it took us 20 mins for a 5 min journey. At night I got drunk and spent $20 playing and losing at poker. Also saw a scouser get his arse kicked by some locals after saying he could beat them all. Even though it was 4 or 5 on one he deserved it for being a cock. Got offered loads of weed at $2 for a massive sackful and all the opium I could wish for for next to nothing.
SUNDAY 28TH DECEMBER (part 1)
Went sightseeing today with Elvis! That's the name on his helmet and his business card so that's what we called him. We went to the scene of some of the most heinous crimes in the history of civilisation. For the uneducated ones amongst you I am obviously talking about The Killing Fields at Cheoung Ek. This is where the Khmer Rouge executed about 17 000 people between 1975 and 1979. Mass graves containing 8 895 bodies were discovered here after the fall of the Khmer Rouge. As you enter there is a five tier cabinet inside a Buddhist stupa containing 5 000 human skulls and bone remains. It's a bit graphic to say the least, when they uncovered the remains some of them still had the blindfolds on. Later on we went to Tuol Sleng prison. It is a bit dilapidated after the government stopped funding 2 years ago, but there are some really amazing artefacts and photos to look at. They say between 17 000 and 20 000 people were held prisoner here over 4 and a half years and only 12 people survived. Most of them were moved to the countryside or killed at Cheoung Ek.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Christmas Time (Mistletoe and Whine) (24-25/12/08)
WEDNESDAY 24TH DECEMBER
Today is Christmas eve believe it or not. At 28C it seems like the height of English summer. Today we've decided to go walkabout to see what the city's really all about. We managed to walk about 6 miles in a massive great circle. We were mainly looking for somewhere to have a proper Christmas dinner, after working the last three it would be nice. We didn't succeed which was a right bitch as I was gagging for some turkey and roast tates. We did get a bit more tat for the collection and we also stumbled across ( I say stumble, you could hardly miss it.) a 40ft high by 80ft wide snow scene in the centre of the city. And guess who was there with their bastarding camera. Correct. Mr. and Mrs. Rich Jap. Went out for dinner at around 8p.m, just about the time Viet Nam played Thailand in the first leg of the final of the ASEAN Football Championship. We didn't think much of it whilst the game was on (I automatically had one eye on it.), we just sat and ate. After a couple more drinks we walked towards the centre of town where it was complete and utter mayhem! Viet Nam had won and the city was going wild. There were about 10 000 people on their scooters, up to 4 at a time, honking their horns and going crazy waving flags and chanting and screaming. We were stood watching for about 40 mins with no let up in the celebrations. Louise then went back to the room and got the camcorder, and returned 20 mins later and they were still at it. Imagine what it was like when Spain won the 2008 Euro's and you'd still be miles out. They hadn't even won it yet there was a second leg to be payed on the 28th. What a wierd night.
THURSDAY 25TH DECEMBER (CHRISTMAS DAY)
Christmas Day and Santa bought me fuck all, except for the guitar I'd already bought in Viet Nam. I lost track of most days leading up to today as I didn't have any miniature chocolates to eat. We went out for one last try to get a proper dinner, but it was to no avail. This was mainly due to the fact that we stopped to try another new beer at a street vendor and it proceeded to piss down with rain for the next two hours. So there we were in the South Viet Nam heat, sweating like a couple of bush pigs under a tarpauline, that you could fit about six people under, getting our ear chewed by a thoroughly boring and rich Canadian, trying to shelter from a torrent of rain. Merry bloody Christmas! After the rain eased we walked around town and had a few more drinks and still no turkey dinner. I sent a few texts home to people, but only half of them replied, the tight bastards, it costs me 49p a go. We made it back to the street we were on, when in decided to piss it down for the rest of the night. We'd seen rain for 10 mins in our entire 8 weeks away and then it pisses down on Christmas day. We did eventually have a Christmas meal of sorts. Mine consisted of rice ( a-fuckin-gain) and prawns, and Louise had chicken and vegtables and rice. We ate in the company of a Spaniard named Javier and a Polish girl named Zuzia, both of them had been teachers in China.
Today is Christmas eve believe it or not. At 28C it seems like the height of English summer. Today we've decided to go walkabout to see what the city's really all about. We managed to walk about 6 miles in a massive great circle. We were mainly looking for somewhere to have a proper Christmas dinner, after working the last three it would be nice. We didn't succeed which was a right bitch as I was gagging for some turkey and roast tates. We did get a bit more tat for the collection and we also stumbled across ( I say stumble, you could hardly miss it.) a 40ft high by 80ft wide snow scene in the centre of the city. And guess who was there with their bastarding camera. Correct. Mr. and Mrs. Rich Jap. Went out for dinner at around 8p.m, just about the time Viet Nam played Thailand in the first leg of the final of the ASEAN Football Championship. We didn't think much of it whilst the game was on (I automatically had one eye on it.), we just sat and ate. After a couple more drinks we walked towards the centre of town where it was complete and utter mayhem! Viet Nam had won and the city was going wild. There were about 10 000 people on their scooters, up to 4 at a time, honking their horns and going crazy waving flags and chanting and screaming. We were stood watching for about 40 mins with no let up in the celebrations. Louise then went back to the room and got the camcorder, and returned 20 mins later and they were still at it. Imagine what it was like when Spain won the 2008 Euro's and you'd still be miles out. They hadn't even won it yet there was a second leg to be payed on the 28th. What a wierd night.
THURSDAY 25TH DECEMBER (CHRISTMAS DAY)
Christmas Day and Santa bought me fuck all, except for the guitar I'd already bought in Viet Nam. I lost track of most days leading up to today as I didn't have any miniature chocolates to eat. We went out for one last try to get a proper dinner, but it was to no avail. This was mainly due to the fact that we stopped to try another new beer at a street vendor and it proceeded to piss down with rain for the next two hours. So there we were in the South Viet Nam heat, sweating like a couple of bush pigs under a tarpauline, that you could fit about six people under, getting our ear chewed by a thoroughly boring and rich Canadian, trying to shelter from a torrent of rain. Merry bloody Christmas! After the rain eased we walked around town and had a few more drinks and still no turkey dinner. I sent a few texts home to people, but only half of them replied, the tight bastards, it costs me 49p a go. We made it back to the street we were on, when in decided to piss it down for the rest of the night. We'd seen rain for 10 mins in our entire 8 weeks away and then it pisses down on Christmas day. We did eventually have a Christmas meal of sorts. Mine consisted of rice ( a-fuckin-gain) and prawns, and Louise had chicken and vegtables and rice. We ate in the company of a Spaniard named Javier and a Polish girl named Zuzia, both of them had been teachers in China.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Easy Rider (19-23/12/08)
FRIDAY 19TH DECEMBER
Went out to get some films and albums put on the ipod today. Absolute bargain, 21 films and 16 albums for $30 you can't say fairer than that. Who says piracy is killing the music industry. I can't see David Bowie sat on a street corner begging. Can you? Didn't do much else, sat on the beach again, not for long mind. My back's in bits. Had a look for some cheap tat to add to Louise's collection. Found some more magnets, there's a bloody surprise. Booked the trip to the mountain town of Da Lat and that was it really. Not my most productive day, but still, I'm in no rush.
SATURDAY 20TH DECEMBER
Up at 6:30a.m again. This is becoming an absolute nightmare, I slept more when i worked 15 hours a day!! Never mind, at least I've got a decent seat on the bus for a change. Listened intensely to Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen on the way, it is by far and away his most underrated album. Check it out. Arrived in Da Lat around 1:00p.m. It looks alright from what I've seen, except just like Grantham everywhere's up hill. It's also right in the middle of the mountains and approx. 5000ft above sea level, so should be good for my 18month old baby lungs. Got a cheap room at $6 a night, the cheapest so far with air-con, cable and hot water. Went for a wander in the afternoon, it was red-hot. We were told it was cold. Bought a guitar for $40 what a bargain. Went back to the hotel to wash up and change and headed out for the evening. Freezing fucking cold! I only had a t-shirt and shorts on (note: must listen to other people.). Went to bed to watch the football, full of snot.
SUNDAY 21ST DECEMBER
Woke up full of mucus and crap. Not the nicest feeling, and it didn't go away all day. Went to the local market today to see how much I could get ripped off. As it turned out it wasn't too bad. Had a delightful meal for less than a quid so no arguments there. Then went and had a few beers at 32p a bottle and it was surprisingly nice. I've been trying to explain to my Mam how to use Skype. It would be easier to teach a blind man how to fly an aeroplane. It took me 1h 30m in the afternoon to teach my Mam how to set it up using instant messenger as the only means of contact. 1 h 20m in she then told me she didn't have a mic. God give me strength. 3 hours later we were back after she'd been to woolworths, before it had closed down for good, and bought herself a proper Skype mic. Another hour and she'd just about sussed it then she went to get the web cam. Now the web cam didn't work properly*. We finally talked for 20 mins cos it was 10:40p.m Da Lat time when she eventually mastered it. Talked about nothing much and then went back to my hotel to watch Arsenal v Liverpool and went to sleep.
*Turns out she threw the web cam away cos she thought it was broke. My sister told her later on that it was just out of focus.
MONDAY 22ND DECEMBER
Today we went on an Easy Rider tour, which involves sitting on the back of a 150cc motorbike and riding round the hillside. It was a really good experience. We went to visit a couple of temples that turned out to be quite interesting, even though I've been to more than 30 since I've been away. Went to a silkworm factory and watched the greedy little fuckers demolish 4kg of leaves in less than 20 minutes; they get fed like this three times a day. Bought Louise a silk dressing gown (house coat if you're not from where I'm from.) and two silk scarves for 14 quid. Went to a place that that made local rice vodka. I thought it would be a big factory. It turned out to be a blokes back yard! Louise tried the vodka and said it was like lighter fluid. Well at 70% proof what do you expect. Also we visited a place called crazy house. This was a house designed by a renowned avante garde artist who happened to be the daughter of one of Ho Chi Minh's cabinet. It was a bit crazy, but it was also like something a few 7 year olds could come up with after a few hours. Finished the tour around 5:00p.m and went out for tea, wrapped up as I was still suffering with man-flu. There are loads of flowers and decorations up in the town. I thought they were mostly to do with Christmas but it was because there was a 150 year celebration of something or other. There was a big model snowman in the middle of the town, all the Japs were there with their fucking cameras again. FLASH, FLASH, FUCKING FLASH. Why don't they just piss off and leave me to enjoy my trip. Off to bed early ready for a long bus ride to Ho Chi Minh City (Sai Gon) in the morning.
TUESDAY 23RD DECEMBER
Welcome to Ho Chi Minh City. It's a big place with nearly 6 million people and about the same amount of scooters. It's very Christmassy looking but it's too hot. We booked our hotel before we arrived so we saved ourselves a bit of time and hassle. We settled in and had a look round the city. Where we stayed it must backpacker heaven cos there were a million bars all selling overpriced drinks; I say overpriced, 30000VND is overpriced when you've only been paying 9000VND for the same lager everywhere else. I blame the rich kids, and rightly so. How can anyone afford to go around the world when they've been studying for 5-8 years after they left school? Answer: Mummy and Daddy. After all the moaning I had no alternative but to pay the price, so I did end up having a few overpriced drinks, and the taste was sour. Met a passive, communist, vegetarian Australian. Haven't I got enough ammunition to hate them already without adding those three things to the list. He was only 19 so he'll have time to learn, plus he bought me a drink so I didn't hate him as much at the end of the night as I did at the beginning.
Went out to get some films and albums put on the ipod today. Absolute bargain, 21 films and 16 albums for $30 you can't say fairer than that. Who says piracy is killing the music industry. I can't see David Bowie sat on a street corner begging. Can you? Didn't do much else, sat on the beach again, not for long mind. My back's in bits. Had a look for some cheap tat to add to Louise's collection. Found some more magnets, there's a bloody surprise. Booked the trip to the mountain town of Da Lat and that was it really. Not my most productive day, but still, I'm in no rush.
SATURDAY 20TH DECEMBER
Up at 6:30a.m again. This is becoming an absolute nightmare, I slept more when i worked 15 hours a day!! Never mind, at least I've got a decent seat on the bus for a change. Listened intensely to Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen on the way, it is by far and away his most underrated album. Check it out. Arrived in Da Lat around 1:00p.m. It looks alright from what I've seen, except just like Grantham everywhere's up hill. It's also right in the middle of the mountains and approx. 5000ft above sea level, so should be good for my 18month old baby lungs. Got a cheap room at $6 a night, the cheapest so far with air-con, cable and hot water. Went for a wander in the afternoon, it was red-hot. We were told it was cold. Bought a guitar for $40 what a bargain. Went back to the hotel to wash up and change and headed out for the evening. Freezing fucking cold! I only had a t-shirt and shorts on (note: must listen to other people.). Went to bed to watch the football, full of snot.
SUNDAY 21ST DECEMBER
Woke up full of mucus and crap. Not the nicest feeling, and it didn't go away all day. Went to the local market today to see how much I could get ripped off. As it turned out it wasn't too bad. Had a delightful meal for less than a quid so no arguments there. Then went and had a few beers at 32p a bottle and it was surprisingly nice. I've been trying to explain to my Mam how to use Skype. It would be easier to teach a blind man how to fly an aeroplane. It took me 1h 30m in the afternoon to teach my Mam how to set it up using instant messenger as the only means of contact. 1 h 20m in she then told me she didn't have a mic. God give me strength. 3 hours later we were back after she'd been to woolworths, before it had closed down for good, and bought herself a proper Skype mic. Another hour and she'd just about sussed it then she went to get the web cam. Now the web cam didn't work properly*. We finally talked for 20 mins cos it was 10:40p.m Da Lat time when she eventually mastered it. Talked about nothing much and then went back to my hotel to watch Arsenal v Liverpool and went to sleep.
*Turns out she threw the web cam away cos she thought it was broke. My sister told her later on that it was just out of focus.
MONDAY 22ND DECEMBER
Today we went on an Easy Rider tour, which involves sitting on the back of a 150cc motorbike and riding round the hillside. It was a really good experience. We went to visit a couple of temples that turned out to be quite interesting, even though I've been to more than 30 since I've been away. Went to a silkworm factory and watched the greedy little fuckers demolish 4kg of leaves in less than 20 minutes; they get fed like this three times a day. Bought Louise a silk dressing gown (house coat if you're not from where I'm from.) and two silk scarves for 14 quid. Went to a place that that made local rice vodka. I thought it would be a big factory. It turned out to be a blokes back yard! Louise tried the vodka and said it was like lighter fluid. Well at 70% proof what do you expect. Also we visited a place called crazy house. This was a house designed by a renowned avante garde artist who happened to be the daughter of one of Ho Chi Minh's cabinet. It was a bit crazy, but it was also like something a few 7 year olds could come up with after a few hours. Finished the tour around 5:00p.m and went out for tea, wrapped up as I was still suffering with man-flu. There are loads of flowers and decorations up in the town. I thought they were mostly to do with Christmas but it was because there was a 150 year celebration of something or other. There was a big model snowman in the middle of the town, all the Japs were there with their fucking cameras again. FLASH, FLASH, FUCKING FLASH. Why don't they just piss off and leave me to enjoy my trip. Off to bed early ready for a long bus ride to Ho Chi Minh City (Sai Gon) in the morning.
TUESDAY 23RD DECEMBER
Welcome to Ho Chi Minh City. It's a big place with nearly 6 million people and about the same amount of scooters. It's very Christmassy looking but it's too hot. We booked our hotel before we arrived so we saved ourselves a bit of time and hassle. We settled in and had a look round the city. Where we stayed it must backpacker heaven cos there were a million bars all selling overpriced drinks; I say overpriced, 30000VND is overpriced when you've only been paying 9000VND for the same lager everywhere else. I blame the rich kids, and rightly so. How can anyone afford to go around the world when they've been studying for 5-8 years after they left school? Answer: Mummy and Daddy. After all the moaning I had no alternative but to pay the price, so I did end up having a few overpriced drinks, and the taste was sour. Met a passive, communist, vegetarian Australian. Haven't I got enough ammunition to hate them already without adding those three things to the list. He was only 19 so he'll have time to learn, plus he bought me a drink so I didn't hate him as much at the end of the night as I did at the beginning.
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