Northern Tasmania (The Mainlander's Say It's Like Alabama) (17-24/2/09)

TUESDAY 17TH FEBRUARY

Today we’re leaving for Tasmania, Wynyard a small town on the north-west coast to be exact, to visit Pat the Australian we met in Viet Nam.
We arrive at the airport for our 12:05p.m flight and have a straight forward check-in. It’s something we’ve been longing for after the debacle in Bali. The flight is nice and comfortable, you get free TV for about 15 minutes after take-off and then they cut it off unless you pay AU$4.95. This enabled me to admire the view outside, even though I was still a little apprehensive. It is amazing; the Tasman Sea is as blue a sea as I’ve ever seen. You can also pick out the other islands to the north of Tasmania.
We land at Launceston airport; we’re 130 miles from Wynyard and the bus doesn’t leave until 17:00p.m, so we decide to hire a car. The car costs AU$550 (£260) for a 10 day hire, so it’s fairly cheap. It’s also automatic, so it’s like driving a dodgem.
It took us just over two hours to get to Wynyard, not bad considering we don’t know our way around. When we drove into Wynyard, it was like driving into 1950’s America. I’m not saying that in a derogatory way, it’s a nice change from all the identical towns you go to back in England. Our host for the next few days is Pat, and she’s there to greet us when we arrive. She shows us to ‘our’ room. It’s perfect, there’s a massive double bed with a huge soft duvet. After we’ve eaten and we’re settled in Pat goes through the house rules: 1) We have to buy our own food, 2) Clean up after yourself. That’s it. You can’t say fairer than that.

WEDNESDAY 18TH FEBRUARY

After the best night’s sleep ever we went for a wander around town. Everything is really old-fashioned and it really is picturesque. There isn’t loads to do in Wynyard itself, but that doesn’t matter as we’re here to take it easy and the car’s in the drive if we need to go anywhere.
The afternoon is spent shopping for food. It’s been over 4 months since we actually shopped for food like this and I still don’t like it. It gets better when I find real bacon and HP sauce: there is nothing better than bacon butty covered in brown sauce. When we get to the checkout and have to pay it comes to over AU$110, we’re only getting the essentials.
We spend a few hours in the RSL (it’s like the Legion back at home), having a pint (even though Australia’s supposed to be metric they know what a pint is) and playing on the pokies. We lost on the pokies: I don’t see the appeal, they’re not like the fruit machines at home, there’s no feature to keep you interested. It doesn’t seem to matter, the Aussies are mad for them, especially the old dears.

THURSDAY 19TH FEBRUARY

Today we went for a drive around the countryside. You can see how all the bushfires occurred in Victoria; even here in Tasmania all the fields are brown and dry so any excessive heat and they’ll just burn no problem.
We were supposed to visit a small town up the road called Burnie. However, I saw a sign for a town called Penguin so we had to investigate. The town is tiny, there’s a tourist information office and a couple of restaurants, that’s about it. There were some funny signs though: a Penguin Butchers ( they’re not endangered enough just yet), Penguin Hotel (no pets allowed)and Penguin market(I don’t know if there’s a big a call for penguins as there is cattle). We didn’t see any actual penguins though, they’re up the coast somewhere.
Afterwards we went to Burnie. It’s equally as small a town as Wynyard, it does though have a few more shops, and the odd fast food outlet if you really want it. We tried to get an Australian sim-card but the woman in the shop was rubbish and wasn’t bothered about helping us. We eventually got one from the local shop in Wynyard, it was exactly the same as the shop in Burnie but the bloke in the corner shop explained it better. That was the easy part. It took an hour to register our sim-card over the telephone as the young lad on the line couldn’t comprehend the fact that I didn’t have an Australian address and I didn’t have access to the internet. I explained that I was a backpacker, and asked him what happens to other people in this situation. He wouldn’t budge and kept asking me what my address was. I then asked him if he was Australian, and he said no he was travelling also. Wrong answer. I asked him how he got his mobile phone registered. He didn’t answer me so I hung up. I made Louise try as I had been as polite as I could and wouldn’t be able to bite my tongue if I had the same experience as before. She told the operator that she was a backpacker and didn’t have an address. Do you know what he said? Don’t worry we’ll make one up.

FRIDAY 20TH FEBRUARY

We haven’t seen much of our host Pat. When she said we could have the run of the house she meant it. Pat does have a dog to entertain us , Jessie. In the past few years it has come to my attention that I’m allergic to long haired dogs and dog hair in general. It’s not nice, every time I get within about 6 feet of Jess I start to sneeze and my eyes start watering. I feel like a bag of shit.
For something to do we go for a drive along the north-west coast of Tasmania. After driving for about 45 mins we arrive in Stanley. Stanley has a population of around 600 and is described by the Australian AA equivalent as “ a quaint township with many interesting and historic buildings, particularly the waterfront.” it is also the birthplace of former Prime Minister Joseph Lyons and it also home to Circular Head a 500ft (150m) volcanic rock formation more commonly known as ‘The Nut.’ This was interesting enough for Louise to insist on getting another magnet for her collection featuring ‘The Nut.’
We drove for another hour or so and visited a couple more towns, Smithton: we didn’t get out the car as it didn’t seem very interesting, I‘m probably wrong though, and Irishtown: the village was so small we drove through it without realising. It has one shop six or seven houses and an AFL/cricket pitch.

SATURDAY 21ST FEBRUARY

Today Pat came out with us as we wanted to check out the local farmers’ market. It had been advertised on the TV over the last few days so I said we should go as it was something to do. Pat had said it wasn’t as big as it looked on TV but I was insistent. We got there and immediately realised she was right; it took us less than 15 minutes to walk round and I only bought 3 parsnips for tea. For something else to do we visited the local cheese factory. I love cheese, the bluer and smellier the better. There were loads, some with bell peppers, some with spring onion, one even had chillies in and tasted like crap. After an hour of eating strange cheeses we headed back, all of us feeling a little sick.
Pat went to work in the afternoon so we went down the local hotel - it doesn’t sound right does it, so from now on I’m putting what it should be: pub. The beer in Australia is quite nice; I’ve been told by everyone it’s crap. When you go to the hotel pub you notice most Aussies don’t drink pints, they drink either halves or schooners (¾ of a pint), supposedly it’s because it gets warm. I reckon they just need to drink quicker. Whilst we were at the pub there was a singer on at 20:00p.m. She finally came on stage at 21:15p.m during which time Louise coerced me into drinking 12 schooners (the pub we went to didn’t sell pints). We watched her perform just two songs because Louise thought she was crap. We went home (not ours, Pat’s) and ate. I fell asleep in front of the TV because I was a little drunk.

SUNDAY 22ND FEBRUARY

Today we went to visit the local lighthouse, it was only a short journey and it passed the time. We got to the lighthouse and took a few pictures of the view. Wherever we’ve been along the northern coast of Tasmania the views are fantastic, the sea is blue, the sky is clear and you can see for miles(km’s if you’re Australian). Today was a little cloudy and cool but the view was still really good. When I turned around to get back in the car, there was a massive spider sat on the bonnet. I’m shit scared of spiders, especially Aussie ones of which I have no idea whether or not they’re dangerous. I spent the next hour watching its every move, conscious of where it was going to go and hide. It finally went under the bonnet, this made me paranoid of it coming through the air-con vents.
I also saw my first wild kangaroo today. It was dead on the side of the road. In total I saw 17 dead kangaroos 2 dead wombats/possums and 1 dead Tasmanian devil and approximately 500 sheep.

MONDAY 23RD FEBRUARY

Today was my least productive day since arriving in Australia. I sat in my shorts and watched Jaws (still my second favourite film of all time after The Exorcist) and then the ‘Oscars.’ There were no major surprises, least of all Heath Ledger’s posthumous award (OK it was thoroughly deserved but wouldn’t you have been pissed off if you were up for the same award knowing that HL was a shoe-in, even more so because he was dead.). I thought Hugh Jackman was really good as host, the Aussie press were lauding him up all week, so I was expecting him to be crap. Louise made a roast dinner for tea; it’s the first proper home cooked roast I’ve had in 4 months and it was immense.

TUESDAY 24TH FEBRUARY

It’s our last day in Wynyard, we’re heading for Hobart to visit a friend of Louise's she’d met while travelling four years ago. It has been really nice to have stayed in a real house with a person who’s not after your money. As a thank you, we took Pat out for dinner. It was the least we could have done as she saved us a couple of hundred quid just on digs. She said that we didn’t have to and reiterated that we were welcome back and the door would always open.