Australia, Finally! (12-16/2/09)

THURSDAY 12TH FEBRUARY

Our bags are packed and we’re ready for Australia. First though we’re going to visit a volcano in the north of the island. After a two hour journey we finally arrive at the top of the mountains and we’re faced with a blanket of fog. Somewhere behind said blanket is supposed to be an active volcano. Having spent 15 minutes there and getting two pictures of what looks like the side of a hill we leave and head back via Ubud. There’s nothing to see as it’s pissing down there as well.
Back in Kuta we decide to pick up some tat and DVD’s for more rainy nights in. This turns out to be a little bit difficult as I only have 7 000Rupiah (43p) in my pocket and Lloyds TSB have cancelled both credit cards and both debit cards for the second time in three days, and we have a taxi to the airport in less than an hour.
So, we’re stuck in the middle of Bali with about enough change to keep a tramp from hassling you for five minutes and no way of getting any more. But wait! I hear you cry, what about the laptop and all the free wireless points? This is a no-go as all the wireless connections in the vicinity have gone down. Instead we spend the next 45 minutes looking for an internet cafe with Skype access. We find one and after Louise gives the bank a deserved ear bashing and spending 40 minutes trying to explain to them that you need to ring first before you stop our cards, Lloyds reactivate the cards and we have some money.
A twenty minute taxi ride and we arrive at the airport with an hour or so to spare. Check-in is pretty quiet as most people have turned up at the correct 2 hours before departure time. The ticket desk are taking an awfully long time to check us in. When I ask what the problem is, I’m told that we don’t have an Australian Visa. The day goes from bad to worse. When we booked our flights the company told us that when you book with us you get a free Australian Tourist Visa valid for 3 months. It only costs £10 but it’s better in my pocket than someone else’s. I explain this to the check-in lady using my English charm to the best of my ability with absolutely zero success. She’s not budging; I can go to Singapore, but no further. Now we have to fork out US$25 each for an Australian Visa that somehow lasts 12 months, yet in the UK you can only get a 3 month one. I think that we have been conned big time. The baggage finally goes through and we head off to our departure gate. Before we get there we have to pay 150 000Rupiah (£9) each, departure tax. In my wallet I have only 220 000R(£13) and S$16(£7) after I only withdrew 500 000R(£29) earlier. I give Louise enough money to get past the bastard in the box and I have to change S$14 to get enough Rupiah to pay my departure tax. This leaves us with 17 000R(£1) and S$2(94p) between us and 3 hours to kill at Singapore Changi Airport.
I officially hate Bali and I officially hate the Balinese immigration officers. It cost us US$25(£18) each to get in and US$14(£9) each to leave. All it did while we were there was rain.

FRIDAY 13TH FEBRUARY

We have a good flight in from Bali and arrive at Changi. Louise gets straight on the phone to our flight operator and demands an explanation as to why we had to pay for our Australian Visas. She gets one and a full refund.
We head through security and passport control; no problems whatsoever, and get on the plane. I tell the air steward about our shitty day, it does no good as my attempt to secure an upgrade fails due to H&S regulations and the credit-crunch (The airline get pissed when upgrades are dished out willy-nilly and it ends up costing them money.).
I still hate flying, but the flight to Kingsford-Smith Airport in Sydney is very pleasant and comfortable. Singapore Airways treat economy passengers very well. You get fed at least twice on long-haul and have plenty of films and TV programmes to watch. This is essential for a nervous wreck like me, I can watch CSI and Curb Your Enthusiasm to my heart’s content, without worrying if the plane is about to fall into the ocean.
We land in Sydney at 07:30a.m local time having been travelling for 15 hours. We are greeted by rain. Are you fucking kidding me? This is Australia. Last week it was 40C(104F) but as soon as I touch down the heavens open and Noah’s in business again with his Ark. Still at least it’s not Bali. A rather terrifying bus ride that lasted an eternity and we arrive at our hostel. It’s in the King’s Cross district of Sydney and is exactly the same as KC in London. It’s full of tramps, wino’s and prostitutes, but beggars can’t be choosers so we’re staying here in a 6-bed mixed dorm.
After getting unpacked and settled in we get mingling with our dorm-mates. There’s a guy from Scunthorpe named Alan, a German named Herman (Honest.), a Kiwi whose name I can’t remember simply because he was so boring. The final member of the dorm is an English lad from Milton Keynes named Mark, he appears from nowhere or so it seemed.
Me, Louise, Alan and Herman the German all go to the off-license to get some cheap(er) alcohol before we head out for the night. If you’ve never been to Australia then the alcohol and gambling laws are quite different to back home. All bars (they call them hotels for some reason) have the option to act as bookmakers and have gaming machines (pokies) on the premises, albeit in a separate room. They’re also allowed to act as an off-license. The only other place you can buy alcohol is the bottle shop (off-license) and these sell alcohol at about 70% of the price of the bars. It’s not much of a saving compared to the UK where you can get 54 cans of lager for the price of 8 pints in a pub. So although you can gamble big and get pissed all under one roof, you can’t get cheap alcohol at the supermarket. I don’t get it.
After stocking up on 2 boxes of goon wine we start our socialising. The night is a good one. Herman has to get up early for his Responsible Server of Alcohol exam, so after 10 glasses of goon wine he calls it a night. However, me, Louise and Alan head for town. It starts badly as me and Louise forget our ID, although I’m 27 and Louise is 32 it doesn’t matter, so we go back to the hostel and pick up our driving licenses. The rest of the night is pretty much a haze of alcohol, good music, photographs and take-away food.

SATURDAY 14TH FEBRUARY

The morning arrives and the room smells like stale beer. Everyone’s rough as arseholes except for Herman who’s remarkably cheery after passing his exam. Alan’s wet through as he left the window next to his bed open and it rained all night.
Louise and I decide to go and book some trips for later on in the tour of Australia. We have to travel through a soggy Sydney after the rain doesn’t relent. The travel agent we need to get to is on Bondi Beach and is a 45 min bus ride away because all the trains have been stopped for essential (sic)maintenance. When we arrive at Bondi and I’m surprised to see it’s a lot smaller than I thought. We can’t go as it’s still raining and we’re wrapped up in Gore-Tex. I won’t be swimming in the sea here anyway as there are too many sharks around. After repeatedly saying I won’t be going in the water before we got here, and Louise telling me to stop being stupid, a Navy diver got savaged and then two days later a surfer was attacked on Bondi (the first attack in 80 years). So I’m well within my rights to not be going in.
The evening is spent in on the phone catching up with what’s going on at home. Alan and Mark go out on the piss again, Herman watches a film, and I couldn’t give a shit what boring bollocks does, he’s so dull though all he did was sleep.

SUNDAY 15TH FEBRUARY

Mark and Alan woke me and Louise up at 06:00a.m. They came in pissed up after a night spent in the local Working Men’s Club after being refused entry to a nightclub for being too casually dressed!
We’re supposed to be going to watch the 20/20 international between Australia and New Zealand at the Sydney Cricket Ground (SCG), but it’s still raining and it’s not looking good. I’m hoping the sun comes out and we get to see the match. Louise is even looking forward to the game and she doesn’t even like cricket!
At 15:30p.m the rain stops and we decide to chance it and head towards the SCG. It turns out to be the right decision. The rain stays off for the next 8 hours apart from one 20 minute spell during the women’s warm-up game.
The game itself is a cracker. Australia win the toss and elect to bat. They score 150 off their 20 overs, I think they’re 10 runs short, but we’ll see. David Hussey top scores with 41 and Daniel Vettori is as tight as ever returning figures of 4-0-23-1, justifying his rank as the world’s number 1 20/20 bowler. I’m looking forward to seeing Brendan McCullum bat. I think he is the best and the most exciting batsmen in the world in this form of cricket. I was so confident in his abilities I had a sly AU$10 at 7/2 he would top score for NZ. NZ get off to a slow start, but are well within reach of the target having 7 wickets in hand and McCullum’s still at the crease. McCullum turns it up a notch with the help of Broome (36) and Elliott (23) putting the Kiwi’s in a good position. With 3 overs to go the Kiwi’s need 30 runs, not difficult in this form of the game. McCullum goes for a big hit over deep mid-wicket and gets caught on the boundary by Adam Voges. It is without a doubt the best catch EVER. Voges is right on the boundary edge and catches the ball, however his momentum is taking him over the boundary and if he still has the ball in his hands it will be a 6. Before he steps over the rope he throws the ball up, steps off the field, recomposes himself, steps back on the field and catches the ball diving slightly forward. I’d like to see evidence of a better catch but I doubt there is one. It will be shown on replays for a long time to come. I was there and I will remember it fondly.
That catch wins Australia the match as NZ can’t reach the target without Brendan McCullum’s input. Even a four and a six off the last two balls by his brother Nathan isn’t enough to see NZ over the line and they finish one run short on 149. Brendan McCullum top scored for NZ with 61 so I’m AU$45 better off.
Within two minutes of the players leaving the field the heavens open and we’re faced with a torrential downpour for the remainder of the night. I don’t care I’ve had a brilliant night and Louise is pretty happy as well.

MONDAY 16TH FEBRUARY

Today I thought we were supposed to be leaving Sydney and heading off to Tasmania. We’re not, it’s tomorrow. Luckily I checked the e-mails otherwise we’d be sat at the airport waiting for a plane that isn’t going to turn up for another 24 hours.
After realising our mistake me, Louise and Alan head out to the city centre (Mark left for NZ this morning.); the rain is still staying away for now. We walked to the harbour and had a look at the bridge and the opera house. I also saw all the Navy ships; it was here the first the shark attack occurred. When I come back to Sydney I’m going to climb the Harbour Bridge, Louise did it four years ago. I’m always going to be behind when it comes to things like this as Louise has visited most of Australia.
We didn’t spend too long at the harbour as the heavens opened again, so it was off to take shelter in the nearest pub/bingo hall/bookmaker/casino. While it rained for the next two hours we watched the Sydney southsiders get wet. The best part was watching the overhead train drench the people walking underneath the monorail track. It happened at least five times and got funnier with each successive drowning.
We got back to the hostel and were greeted by two new room-mates. We spent the next 4 hours drinking and getting ready for our last night on the town. We went to the only bar that was open and spent the next few hours drinking AU$6, 3 pint jugs. Bargain. After a few more ales and watching the English slappers losing their remaining dignity, we left. It was nearly 03:00a.m and we had to be out of the hostel at 09:00a.m.