I Should Have Bought More Money (12-17/01/09)

MONDAY 12TH JANUARY

Went to Pantip Plaza in Bangkok to by a new camera as ours is rubbish. It took us almost 4 hours mainly due to me spending most of the time looking for a cheap laptop. I shouldn't have bothered, most of them were cheaper in England and not nicked. We did get a decent camera on the cheap though so all was not lost. We went to KFC. Whilst I was enjoying my chicken covered in a secret blend of herbs and spices, I thought I'd spoil myself and put some ketchup on my fries. Big mistake. I liberally covered my chips with tommy K, whilst at the same time covering most my shirt, trouser leg and shoe at the same time due to the massive hole in the side of the bottle. Wonderful.
We had spent too long at the shopping mall and it was now 17:00p.m. We had to get back to our guesthouse near KSR, pick up our bags and make it to the train station for a train to Surat Thani to get the boat to Ko Pha Ngan, all by 18:20p.m in the middle of the Bangkok rush hour. This was not going to be easy. Firstly we tried the bus; it would have been quicker to walk. We then hailed a tuk-tuk, and in pidgin English tried to explain what we had to do and that we had to do it fast. Somehow, after not moving for 20 minutes, we made it to the station with over half an hour to spare. We got ourselves settled on the train and I went to get some drinks. Inadvertently I got caught just as the national anthem started; this requires everyone to stand still and pay respect to the King, whether or not you're a Thai national. (This also happened in Chiang-Mai. Note to self: Do not go anywhere at 18:00p.m.)
We spent the night on the train talking to a three Scottish hairdressers. It was hard work. They weren't the most warming of people I've ever met (must be the cold in Scotland, eh!). It looked like I was going to get a decent nights sleep, as the beds were quite generous in size. This didn't happen, the KFC I'd eaten kept me up all night with gut ache. It was made that extra bit worse by the fact that there was only the Asian squat toilet, and I was on an express sleeper train.

TUESDAY 13TH JANUARY

We had been lied to again by a travel agent. They said we would be on Ko Pha Ngan by dinner time. There was a bit of scene on the boat. The boat ride to KPN takes over 3 hours and today was a particularly rough day on the sea. I don't think I've ever been on or in any vehicle where so many people have been travel sick at one time. A fair estimate of about 15% of the people on board were doing their Linda Blair impressions. My three favourites, in no particular order, were; a boy of about 5 who sat behind us and threw up constantly for the entire journey and was so sick it made his mum throw up as well; a girl who was all fine and dandy one minute and then all of a sudden spewed on her own feet; and a woman who was sat on the floor of the top deck with a yellow rain mac on (undone, hood up) with a carrier bag over her ears ready just in case.
After leaving the boat we were practically forced to get in a van, by the price fixing tuk-tuk Mafia, that would take us to Hat Rin for an extortionate 100B each.
Got a cheap room for 300B a night and went looking for something to do. It was cold and wet and there was no Moon Party (half, full, silver, black) of any description until Saturday, so most of the island was dead. Great.

WEDNESDAY 14TH JANUARY

Even though there wasn't much to do, there was no-one around, and the weather was shitty we thought we'd give the island a couple more days. We soon sacked that idea off after getting charged a fiver each for 85 mins of interweb time. The whole island is a rip off. The food is expensive, the beer is expensive and even the people who are there are complete tossers. If you do go, only go for a Full Moon and don't stay longer than a couple of days. Not recommended. Off to Phuket island instead.

THURSDAY 15TH JANUARY

We thankfully left KPN at 06:00a.m, not before seeing a typical English slapper trying to get a lift of some Thai bloke in exchange for a bit of 'how's your father.' The journey back to the mainland was smoother, for a start we were on a ferry not a fishing boat. It did take us until almost 19:00p.m to get to Phuket after stopping at a place that sold nothing other than overpriced junk food. We did meet a nice girl from York named Laura. We ended up staying at the same guesthouse as her and having a nice(cheap) meal in her company.
Not much else doing other than the fact I nearly pissed myself cos the cunt of a bus driver wouldn't stop to let me go to the toilet. I wouldn't have pissed myself, I'd have done it on the seats. Fuck him.

FRIDAY 16TH JANUARY

After doing a recce of Phuket town we decided to leave and stop at Karon beach instead. We got the bus for a very reasonable 30B. It dropped us off, unbeknown to us, at the wrong end of town. So we spent the next hour and a half walking back to where we'd just driven past, trying to find a cheap room. Not possible. On Phuket island the beaches of Kata, Karon and Patong are package holiday destinations, mainly frequented by Scandinavians, so this makes finding somewhere at budget price in the middle of high season very difficult. We did find a place, next door to where James and Carla recommended, that was an internet cafe first and foremost, but she rented her room out in the back for 500B (very reasonable for this area) a night. She also gave us free internet, which I have taken advantage of to keep this thing updated.
After settling in we got ourselves well acquainted with the area. It's not cheap, this is the place where you bring a thousand quid for a fortnight and spend it easily. Not really for backpackers.

SATURDAY 17TH JANUARY

Karon has a vey nice beach, so we decided to spend most of the daylight hours there. I finished reading yet another book, (The Cocky Watchman. It's about Curtis Warren the biggest drug smuggler ever caught in Britain. He makes Howard Marks look like a choirboy.) and laid about trying to get some kind of tan. On the way back we popped into the 7-11 and got ourselves a bottle of Kopparberg Swedish cider, my poison of choice at home, but not here its 2 quid for 330ml. In the evening we went out for the most English meal possible: Sausage egg and chips, with HP sauce and two rounds of bread. Delightful. Then I went to watch the scum and Chelsea both win in the last minute. Bastards. Going to Patong tomorrow on a scooter. I wonder what it's like?