Wat Wat Wat! (14-16/11/08)

FRIDAY 14TH NOVEMBER

Supposed to have been up and out by 9am to meet the tuk-tuk driver who was to take us around the town for the day. As it turned out we walked out of the hotel at about 10:45, ah well, I'm on holiday so I have no schedule as such to keep to.Anyhow, we started to walk and got collared by another tuk-tuk. He said he'd take us to the same places for the same price. Bargain! He drove us 100yards, told us to get out of the tuk-tuk and into his car; it was a Honda, I'd expect nothing other than that, a Nissan or an Isuzu, only Japanese cars. Then his wife took us round for the day.
We went to nine temples (Wat's). Fuck me! OK, OK, so they're nice to look at, and some of them are interesting to read about but fucking hell. After the third one they all started looking the same to me: some bricks and some images of Buddha and a few monks. About 2 hours in I was bored shitless, still, only 2 hours to go.
Four and a half hours of my life later (I can't have them back you know!). We were back at the hotel. Another cold swim in the pool. It must be heated by a solitary candle, maybe one day they'll light it, here's to eternal hope.
We gave in to temptation and had a KFC. We've been here 11 days and its the first fast food we've had. They do mashed potato here. Louise told me later that they do mash in KFC worldwide except the UK, the sly fuckers. Also had a white toblerone. Stop me if I'm wrong but when i was a kid, toblerone used to be 9 pieces, each piece had one letter on that went T-O-B-L-E-R-O-N-E and it was reversed on the other side. Why is it now that you only get 8 pieces. Haven't the Swiss got enough money without conniving us out of one lousy bit of delicious nougat filled chocolate. The fucking war-dodgers.

SATURDAY 15TH NOVEMBER

Got up to yet another cold cooked breakfast, even the eggs were cold today. I'm getting bored of telling you about this so I might stop. I just want some weetabix.
Off to Lopburi for the day to see some monkeys (not monks, seen enough of them.). The fella we were supposed to meet yesterday is taking us. It's a six hour day and a 90mile round trip and he's doing it for 1500Baht (29GBP). He told us he earns 600B-1500B(11.50-29GBP) a day for a 13hour day, and it's usually the lower end unless he gets a day trip like today. Then he told us his wife earns 200B a day for a 14 hour day. Oh yeah, and his car costs 8700B a month on finance. Shit, these people are piss poor, it's even worse in Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia. I'm gonna stop being morbid now.
We arrived in Lopburi and Christ-on-a-bike, there are thousands of the little bastards everywhere. I thought when we were told there were lots of monkeys there, there were maybe a couple of hundred. Oh no, there are thousands and they do what monkeys do. That is run around a lot, scream at each other, eat, fight and get piggy-backs off cats with no tails. It was a good day all-in-all, but not very productive when all we really did was laugh at some monkeys like some inbred red-necks.
Got back to the hotel, showered and got changed, ready to go and eat and watch Liverpool v Bolton. Had another fall out with Louise so I went out on my own. I was back within 20 minutes with the laundry and a face on. The Kings' sister had died earlier in the week, and today was the day they cremated her. Because of this all of the town was dry as a show of respect, and I couldn't find the football anywhere. Turned out it was on cable in the room, so I made up with Louise and went out to get a pizza and some beers from the 7-11(open 24hrs) that was allowed to sell liquor!

SUNDAY 16TH NOVEMBER

Up and out and off to the train station to get the train to Phitsanlok( 4h30m) and then a bus to Sokhothai (1h20m). Sat waiting in the train station and saw a monk (suprise!). He had a shit-hot mobile phone and an ipod. Louise then asked me probably the most inappropriate questions to ever ask about a monk. Are they virgins? If they are do they masturbate? Christ what am I supposed to do, go an ask the poor little Kojak lookalike.
Got on the train. Nice and clean and comfy seats. Just one problem, mine wouldn't stay upright so I kept hitting this French bloke behind me in the face with my chair. Everything has its upsides.
Arrived at Phitsanlok train station, and proceeded to walk the wrong way to the bus station for about 500yds. Finally gave up and got a tuk-tuk. Good job really it was 2 miles to the main bus station! Got on the bus and made it to the bus terminal. When we arrived I had to ring the hotel to pick us up. While I was on the phone, the taxi drivers were hassling Louise about a lift to a hotel. One of them asked Louise if she was on her own, she said no. He then asked who she was with, she pointed to me and he almost ran off. There are some benefits to being this size, it stops little Asians from trying to crack on to your missus!