The Trek (Did I Mention It's Up Hill?) (17-21/11/08)

MONDAY 17TH NOVEMBER

Woke up this morning and did absolutely naff all other than go for a swim. It turns out that there isn't a lot to do in this town unless you want to go and see some temples. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm really glad we stopped off here! Did the usual again at night, ate, drank and went to bed. Let's hope tomorrow's better eh.

TUESDAY 18TH NOVEMBER

Wide awake at 9:30am, just in time for a fresh cooked breakfast; there might not be much to do but at least the food's hot. And then: boredom strikes again. I can't find anything to do other than visit temples . I'm at the stage now where I might just cut my arm off just to have something to do. Hey-ho, here's to the evening. Got fed and a bit tipsy again. It's a bit like Groundhog Day but less interesting. I've even started to play cards with Louise now. It's a bit desperate cos she only knows how to play rummy. Oh well, off to Chiang-Mai tomorrow so that should be good.

WEDNESDAY 19TH NOVEMBER

Another long bus trip ahead, but it costs less than a fiver so needs must and all that. Six hours on this journey so I got the i-pod out and watched most of Gavin and Stacey. I don't care what anyone says Uncle Bryn is a class act.
Arrived at Chiang-Mai around 4pm. Shower and change and straight out for a feed and to get watered, and maybe have a look round. Only here for one day, then off trekking tomorrow to see the Karen tribe-people. It's 100% nicer city than Bangkok, it's a bit like Manchester to London. London's horrible and smelly and no fuckers got the time of day for you. Turns out that I didn't do a lot of sight seeing at night. Managed to get pissed as a fart on about 8 bottles of Chang beer, that's the equivalent of about 13 pints of run of the mill Carling. So all of what I did was a bit of a blur.

THURSDAY 20TH NOVEMBER

So, there's an Englishman an Australian and a Jew on the back of this truck. Sounds like the start of a joke I know, but in fact it was the tour party for our trip. There were other people as well, Louise, Omer the Jewish fellas girlfriend and a Belgian couple. After the meet and greet we headed of to see the tribe in the hills about 2 hours away. We had our mandatory stop at a local market where you could buy all your useless tat, then we headed for our first stop.
The first stop was in fact elephant trekking, I forgot to mention that bit didn't I. What a laugh that is. I've never done anything like it in my life. I've never even ridden a horse so I was a bit dubious at first. No need though. Me and Louise got put with Stu, the Aussie. He was put on the front and had to drive the Beast. It also turned out he was chief banana feeder and our spit-guard. Aussies are useful then. We wandered around for about hour then went to feed the baby elephant. It was only about 5 foot tall but it weighed around a ton. You wouldn't want it to tread on your toes. This is exactly what the great lump did to me when I ran out of bananas. We left before it did it again. After lunch we set off on our trek up the hills. We trekked for 90 mins constantly up hill on the most humid day ever in the history of mankind. My T-shirt looked like I'd walked into the shower for a week. It was worth it though cos we were at a waterfall where we could frolic to our hearts content. One hour later, back to uphill trekking for another 70 mins after which we finally arrived at our 5 star (sic!) accommodation. The room that we had was I think the families shed. All seven of us had to stay in it, all sleeping on the floor with no door, no window and no electricity. I tried to have a shower. There wasn't one, just a big water butt of cold water. I forgot to put the soap in my bag so I had to borrow that as well. In the evening we were invited to a pre-wedding party where Louise managed to get chatted up by a man who looked like something out of LOTR. She can't half pick 'em. In bed by 10:30pm as there was nothing to do in the dark with no electric.

FRIDAY 21ST NOVEMBER

Had the worst nights sleep. woke up about 5 times with a dead arm where I'd been laying on it, and then the pissing cockerel was having a party at about 5:30am. Anyway. Had cold toast and a hard boiled egg for breakfast at 9am and then had to trek at 10am for an hour and a half up hill before stopping for 10 minutes to buy more tat, and then trekking for another hour to a car park to get picked up and taken for lunch. Noodles for lunch, which I still don't like. Then: bamboo rafting. Good fun but you get absolutely drenched as you sit half afloat in the river on 5 bamboo logs strapped together that are 25 foot long. Left the hills and went back to Chiang-Mai. Back in the second city for a hot shower, clean clothes and steak and onion pie and mash with carrots, bisto gravy and HP sauce. I've died and gone to heaven. In bed and sparko by about 10:30pm completely shattered after two quality days.